Oregon High School Lets Everyone Be A Valedictorian Because That Is The Fair Thing To Do

MEDFORD, Ore. — School officials say 21 students graduated from South Medford High School as valedictorians Saturday. According to the school’s web site, this marks a record number of valedictorians at the school. School officials report the class of 2013 had the highest grade point average of any previous graduating class and took a record number of advanced courses.

“The majority of our school, we get 4’s and 5’s on our AP’s”.

Whoa there bro, slow down. Fours AND Fives? Most of you? Well fuck, nevermind. This was about to be a blog about the pussiciation of America right up until I realized almost all of these kids got 4’s and 5’s on their AP’s. That’s incredible. Smartest kids in the world. Some got 4’s and some got 5’s, but all got a nice big pat on the back saying how fantastic they truly are. Yay America! Hugs for everyone. If it seems like the student at South Medford High School always win,  its because it is literally impossible to loose at South Medford high school in Oregon