Chipotle Giving Away Free Burritos To Everyone Who Sends Them A Text Means We Are Like Peas And Carrots Again


Time- All 2,000 Chipotle locations will be temporarily shut down during lunchtime Monday for a company-wide meeting about food safety. If you were planning on hitting Chipotle during that time, the company is very sorry it ruined your plans, and would like to provide you with a free burrito to make up for it.

All you have to do to redeem this offer is text the word “raincheck” to 888-222. They’ll text you back with a coupon for a free burrito within the next few days.  This, of course, is only a good deal if you still trust Chipotle after its tumultuous few months of E. coli outbreaks and salmonella outbreaks. Oh, and a norovirus outbreak. Oh, and a subsequent lawsuit.  Free food is a great way to most people’s hearts, so clearly they’re trying to win you back. The choice is yours.


Sure I didn’t get sick from the latest batch of E. Coli, but all is forgiven, Chipotle! Food always tastes at least 50% better when it is cooked by someone else. Those are just scientific facts. And when it is free, that number shoots up to 500%. To the people who say there is no such thing as a free lunch, riddle me how I am about to get a free lunch thanks to a simple text message? I mean I guess the people that became extremely sick paid for it, but still I’m not shelling out a goddamn dime. And if I get E.Coli, that’s just the price of doing business.

As for salmonella, that is just a disease made up by women to stop men from eating raw cookie dough. If you got sick from Chipotle, it was definitely due to E. Coli. I can’t wait to get this text message and eat the best burrito ever. And guac should be free too. Don’t tell me the burrito is free and you try to make me spend money on stuff other than a drink. That’s something Qdoba or Moe’s would do. You are Chipotle. Act like it.

However, if I somehow get signed up for some spam text message list, none of this is worth it. I would rather get a case of E.Coli than being on a text list.  I’ve already won more cruises than I know what to do with and telemarketers are one million percent worse shitting lava for a week.