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This Taco Bell Lasagna Has Officially Turned Me Against These Viral Food Recipe Videos You See All The Time

 

So by now I’m sure you’ve seen some of these things popping into your Facebook feed, all these video recipes for food sometimes ranging from normal stuff like buffalo chicken to slightly more outlandish stuff like kimchi queso and now to shit like this fucking monstrosity “Taco Bell Lasagna” above that no joke looks like someone vomited into a glass baking pan after eating street tacos. And maybe this is just me since I’m cutting all carbs right now and you’ll think I’m an idiot and all be cumming yourselves seeing this but I genuinely don’t see how anyone can view this as appealing:

 

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Mmmm hollandaise-looking nacho cheese carefully spread onto a layer of shitty refried beans that looks like afterbirth set to same operatic music. Nothing makes me want to hit the kitchen with $40 of fast foods more. And this being the final product:

 

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At best that looks like what a gross kid would do in third grade when he’d mix up the entire school lunch and eat it for kicks. At worst it looks like a late-term abortion that got rubbed in Ninja Turtle ooze. Either way, not a thing I’d advocate eating. I have no problem with Taco Bell and subsisted on it and Lean Pockets basically my senior year of college but is this really a food item we need to introduce into more food items? Are we really missing our daily intake of dime store tortillas and Grade F beef that bad? Some mom in Nebraska is probably making this because she saw it on Pinterest and thinks it’s a “fun home cooked meal” for her kids to enjoy alongside their two-liter of Mountain Dew and some other video’s Ho-Ho flan dessert.

 

And I’ve realized that’s what my main problem with these stupid recipe video things being all over Twitter and Facebook now: It’s basically like the Kony 2012 of people who think they’d enjoy cooking but have no idea on what the point of cooking is. If these people even make the food, it’s 100% turning out even more vile and inedible than this professionally-made version is. But more than that, cooking isn’t supposed to be about throwing a bunch of already-made processed shit into a tray and making it into a disgusting Frankenstein’s monster. You cook to be healthier or save money or to form a love for cooking like the people in ads for Plated.com (promo code KFC). Make a fucking regular lasagna or hell get some fresh black beans and do something similar to this without the fast food included so you don’t need a defibrilator at the dining table in the future. But stop rubbing your deep fried colostomy bags in my face and trying to pass it off as fun because we’re all worse off for it.