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We're Getting Three More Fast And Furious Movies Because God Is Good

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LET’S. GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

 

Really, I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve such an incredible one this time around, but thank you to former me. I’ve enjoyed unprecedented sports success and, on top of that, I was fortunate enough to be born during the greatest era of cinematic genius this world has ever seen. Just think about the odds of that, folks. The earth has existed for four and a half billion years, and we are all lucky enough to be here during the Fast and Furious franchise. It simply doesn’t get better than that.

 

I know people will scoff at me, they’ll make their #topical Paul Walker jokes, some people might even think I’m joking around or doing a schtick, but the fact of the matter is that Fast and Furious is movie fun at its finest. The last three movies? Smash hits. 83% across the board on Rotten Tomatoes for Fast 5,6, and 7 respectively.

 

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I’m not going to sit here and campaign for Oscars for them, that would be silly. But if you want to have a good time at the theater, Fast and Furious is your best bet. Action, speed, laughter, some tears, and hot women. That’s what I want out of my cinematic experience. I’ll watch the slow, kinda boring Oscar nominees at home on my couch. When I hit up the Lowes I want explosions, car chases, and wild stunts. Fast does that for me and I can’t wait to share that gift when I bring my children with me to Fast 10, just as my dad did with me when we went to Fast and Furious 1.

 

 

Just cross your fingers that The Rock is signed on for eternity. Can’t wait to see him and Vin Diesel living their lives a quarter mile at a time in 15 years.

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