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Hilary Clinton Won An Iowa Precinct Last Night Thanks To A Coin Flip. No, Really #USA

 

 

That’s democracy at work folks! That’s America at work.  Just like our forefathers would’ve wanted.  Precincts being decided by a coin flip at an old YMCA gym as the crowd goes wild for Hilary Clinton. The fate of the state’s selection falling into the hands of Phyllis (I don’t know for a fact but I know for a fact that the name of the lady who flipped the coin is Phyllis. Couldn’t look more like a Phyllis if she tried) and her ability to flip a coin into the air. Last night was our Super Bowl here in Iowa and it came complete with a coin toss. What a time to be alive. Paper ballots, people hand-counting votes and mother fucking coin flips. That’s what Iowa does. It’s even crazier since Hilary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were neck and neck the entire time. It ended up being a virtual tie but the entire process being decided by a coin toss would have been the cherry on top of this insane circus. Such a weird tradition.