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I Feel Like People Need To Pay More Attention To Marco Rubio's Wife

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Marco Rubio came in 3rd place last night in the Iowa Caucus which might have actually been the best case scenario for him. Because now that Cruz won Iowa, Trump is going to be even more relentless in his bullying toward the slimy Canadian and those two may end up just killing each other and leaving Marco Rubio as the only Republican nominee left in the race that’s worth a damn. And even though I may not know much about politics, I know for a damn fact that if the Rubes is on that ticket come November, he has my vote. Why is that? Well because as I’m sure the majority of you are aware, his wife is former Dolphins cheerleader Jeanette Dousdebes.

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Now THAT is a family that I can vote for. I think Caleb made a great point on yesterday’s Rundown. Ted Cruz can’t become the 45th President of the United States because he’s just way too fucking ugly and creepy looking to be President. But Rubio is a decently handsome man and his wife is a total babe. And that’s the key here. The First Lady NEEDS to be a smoke because what does that say to other leaders around the world? It says the the Commander in Chief is a stud. It shows that he’s an Alpha. It shows that he’s not a settler and after he wipes your country off the map with drone strike after drone strike, he’s going home to make sweet sweet love to his smokin’ hot wife. Think he’s gonna lose any sleep over killing a few thousand terrorists in a desert? Not when he’s in bed next to that.

Maybe it’s because I don’t follow politics as closely as I should but I just feel like Jeanette Dousdebes has been highly under-utilized on the campaign trail so far. Now that Rubio, Cruz and Trump have separated themselves from the pack after Iowa, it’s time for her to be front and center. She’s got a little Tami Taylor look to her so Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Tight Pants.