We Can All Relate To This Guy Who Eats 13 Bowls Of Cereal a Day

Mirror - A man is begging for help to overcome his addiction to CEREAL – munching a staggering 13 BOWLS a day topped with a whopping 138 spoons of sugar. Phillip Patrick, 19, had a healthy and varied diet until he left home three years ago and slipped into bad habits. Now the dad-of-one ONLY eats cereal – mostly Weetabix and cornflakes – topped with an enormous pile of sugar, scheduling his binges around his favourite TV programmes. Phillip – who has eaten an estimated 14,235 bowls in three years – devours six boxes of cereal and 15 pints of milk a week and a 5kg bag of sugar every nine days. And his bizarre diet has left him with barely enough energy to walk up the stairs and he can’t go out for dinner or eat meals with his family.

It would be so easy to say “hey fuck face, just stop eating all the fucking cereal in the world”, but I’m not here to mock people for their addictions. Well I am…but not to cereal. I will never mock a man who is addicted to cereal. No joke I had to stop buying cereal from the store because I would eat a box a day and that’s just not healthy. I would even buy that Special K fruit and yogurt, but if you eat a box a day of that you are still an unhealthy fuck. There isn’t a more addicting food than cereal. It’s literally impossible to just have one bowl. Now add in the fact that this guy is completely addicted to not just cereal, but sugar too. Dude is piling mountains of sugar on his cereal looking like Tony Montana of the breakfast world.

The crazy thing about him is the article says this dude is only 15 stone which according to Google is 210 pounds. Shouldn’t he be looking like EDP at this point? 136 spoonfulls of sugar a day? And he still found time to fuck his wife and have a kid? I’m now of the belief all that sugar is the only thing keeping him alive. If he stops, he dies.