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Cindy Crawford Announces She Will Retire Later This Month

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Page Six- Say hello to Cindy Crawford at 50 — and now say goodbye.  The fashion icon tells United Airlines’ Rhapsody magazine that she plans to retire from modeling this month after she celebrates her half-century birthday on Feb. 20.  “I’m sure I’ll have my picture taken for 10 more years, but not as a model anymore,” Crawford says in the magazine’s February edition. “And that’s OK. I’ve done it. I’ve worked with all these incredible photographers.  What else do I need to do? I can’t keep reinventing myself.  I shouldn’t have to keep proving myself. I don’t want to.”

 

For 80s babies/90s kids like myself, Cindy Crawford was the gateway drug into the smut world. Smoking hot and led to more than a few puberty boners popping while we were dousing ourselves in Polo Sport. And since Cindy almost always wore nothing less than a bathing suit, it sent many of us down a dangerous road that had us searching for some harder smut.  By the time she did Playboy, it was probably already too late to save us.  Though seeing Cindy Crawford’s naked boob gave mea thrill equal to the entire Sable Playboy spread.

So now Cindy is hanging up her one-piece (I hated that she loved one-pieces) and is calling it a career.  Even though it seems ridiculous that she can retire for getting paid for being really, really, ridiculously good looking.  But she was on top of the modeling game for years while making the mole on the face sexy. The best possible wife for any game of M.A.S.H. in the 90s. Women wanted to be her, men wanted to be with her. She was the Michael Jordan of her craft, all the way down to her unedited pictures from last year being equal to Jordan’s time with the Wizards.

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I mean those photos may have ruined every memory I had of her, but at least she owned them. Meanwhile people like Kate Upton and Kim Kardashian have an entire fleet of people working on Photoshop 24/7 just to sell a few magazines to middle-aged moms checking out at the grocery store. If Kate Upton has a photoshoot at the age of 50, her picture will just look like this.

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So let’s remember the glory days of Cindy Crawford. Sure, her pictures may not hold up to some of the crazy models and Instagram chicks that are out there now. But that’s just how it goes. Watch a football game from the 1960s and then a football game from today. Humans evolve. And no, I will never forgive Cindy Crawford for making me sit through 91 minutes of the movie Fair Game only to find out that she used a body double for her sex scene with Billy Baldwin. Pure evil. But still, long live the queen.

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