4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Kanye Speaks Out On The Whole #BootyFingers Rumor And Strongly Denies It

Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 2.11.44 AM

 

Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 2.12.52 AM

 

Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 2.40.25 AM

 

 

 

 

Gotta love Kanye waiting until 2:30 in the morning, almost exactly a day and a half after his initial beef started to respond. Perfect way to handle your ex. Get a call from her? A text? Tweet? Hear she’s been talking shit? Totally ignore it. Bury your emotions and pretend she doesn’t mean a thing to you. Until, of course, you get some liquor in you and explode. Bitch I NEVER let you play with my butt! That was a lie! Why did you say that, Amber? Why did you tell them I like digits in my asshole?!?

 

 

As for that second tweet, I also like pictures and videos. Totally co-sign that. I’d probably rather jerk-off to a sext instead of actually fucking a girl. At least then I can just be happy that I came, rather than happy I came for a quick second before I start feeling awful that she had to see me naked. And I think he invited Amber Rose to an apology threesome? “Me and my wife got that kind of love that can turn exes into best friends,” sounds like some coded swinger shit. You don’t stay friends with your ex unless you still want to fuck them, you don’t stay best friends with your ex unless you’re still fucking them.

 

 

I just know I’m glad I don’t have a girlfriend (#singleandluvinit) because last night would’ve been filled with a lot of “Let’s just try it, baby. Kanye says it’s cool. Last year was all about eating your ass, this year is about fingers in mine.” Fast forward to today where I’d be sitting here red-faced, tweeting that I never let anyone near my asshole. Stay away from that area all together.

 

*whispers* but also, if we’re being honest, I’m kind of disappointed this isn’t gonna be a cool thing. It’s like when a girl gets pregnant and she’s devastated, then loses the baby and is even more devastated because she’d convinced herself it might be a good thing. I first heard about this and thought, “Woooo shit, so this is how we’re doing it now? It’s that kind of party?” but an hour later I was like, “Eh, fuck it. Let’s get crazy, might be awesome.” Now I’ve lost that. Kanye gave me a booty finger miscarriage.