I Hate That The New Trix Rabbit Is A Real Bunny
Mashable- It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: General Mills has announced its new mascot. And he’s not just cute — he’s a real-life rabbit. Meet Cinnabon. The Houston-based bunny beat out more than 7,500 other silly rabbits to become the cereal company’s rep. The long-eared snuggle ball will grace the covers of several new limited-edition Trix boxes — and his owner, Natalie Tran, will obviously be taking home some major bragging rights.
“I’m obviously biased, but I always knew Cinnabun was an especially playful, cute and lovable bunny,” said Tran. The nationwide search for a new, fluffy mascot is part of General Mills’ attempt to revamp its image and become “more real.” At the heart of that mission, the company said, is to nix artificial flavors and colors from its cereals and replace them with natural ingredients. So far, 75% of the company’s brands have been able to accomplish that goal, including Trix, Reese’s Puffs and the decidedly less playful Fiber One brand.
Fuck this bunny. First of all, he isn’t even cute. If you are putting a real bunny on your cereal box, he better be cute or some long, lanky, cracked out Porzingis looking motherfucker like the original cartoon rabbit
Second of all, who wants a real rabbit on their cereal box? Now a box of Trix looks like a box of rabbit food. Load that shit up with a cartoon like all the other companies. Because when I get stuck in the cereal aisle for a half hour trying to decide between about 20 cereals that are absolutely terrible for me, I want cartoons and pictures of the cereal. You don’t see Cinnamon Toast Crunch throwing a real-life, fat ass chef on their box. Raisin Bran doesn’t have a picture of the sun. Cereal is supposed to be fun. A way to brighten up your shitty morning. And if I want something healthy (hint: I don’t), I’ll go to the produce aisle, not the cereal aisle. Load my cereals up with corn syrup and stop pussifying the grocery store.
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Third of all, the mascot of Cadbury Eggs is already a real life bunny. Sure it’s not a cereal, but it is a food. Plus the Cadbury Bunny clucks like a chicken for some unknown, strange reason, but he is still a billion times better than this bunny. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, Trix.
P.S. Even though it doesn’t have a cartoon mascot, Reese’s Puffs are forever the GOAT cereal.