Wildest Twitter Day Ever Wraps Up With Sharon Osbourne Saying She Had A Dream She Fucked Shaq

‘Cause that’s how I fucked Shaq!

It has been a wild day in the Twitterverse and there’s no better way to wrap it up than by thinking of 63 year old, 5’2″ Sharon Osbourne getting dicked down by a seven footer. Really need to feel for Ozzie in this one though. Woke up in the dead of night, thinking his wife was getting murdered only to find out she was having a sex dream where she was getting plowed by what I imagine is the biggest dick in the history of the world. Looked over and saw her in REM cycle yet still bouncing around the bed, letting out screams, and thought he needed to call Father Lankester Merrin to get that demon BBC out of her. Tough for any husband to see, tougher when that husband looks down at his own dick which now, on its best night, turns into an al dente piece of linguini because he used to shoot heroin into it after he collapsed every other vein in his body.

Godspeed getting that one out of your head, Ozzie. Once you go black, you never go back. Once your wife goes black, you… I don’t know? Do a fuck ton of drugs, kill your last six brain cells, and still not die because you once drank bat blood and are now immortal? Doesn’t rhyme as well, but probably the best course of action.