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No, We Are Not Making "Snow Rat" A Thing

 

Yo, fuck this rat getting attention today.  Pizza Rat was a legit internet sensation out of the blue.  And Cannibal Rat was allowed to piggyback off of Pizza Rat’s success because he showed out-of-towners just how real it is in the streets for rats in New York City.  Whether he was dragging his rat brethren to the dinner table or trying to get him out of the public eye so he didn’t go viral.

But this Snow Rat bitch is just wandering around in the cold like an asshole.  First of all, he looks to be the size of a field mouse.  You aren’t a true NYC rat unless you can be confused for a small dog.  Probably was the run of his litter of 1,000 rats and sent out into the cold to die.  Then the stupid asshole goes into a wheel well.  Bro, the entire city is getting hit by a blizzard.  Everyone is locked inside getting wasted and being banned from traveling by De Blasio.  The city hasn’t been this open for the taking since Simon Gruber had the NYPD scattered across the five boroughs.  You could steal City Hall for Christ sakes.  I sincerely hope this rat is dead, face-down in a gutter right now.  And I beg that if we are going to make another rat go viral in the future, please make sure he does something better than dilly dallying in some snowflakes.