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18 Year Old Ted Cruz Was Such A Fuckboy

In 1988, high school senior Ted Cruz reflected on his life’s ambitions while attending Second Baptist School in Houston, TX. Now, he is a Republican Senator running for the office of the President of the United States of America.

Ok cancel the campaign. Pack it up. Thanks all you volunteers for your hard work, but your services will no longer be needed. I mean you just can’t do it. You can’t be President of the United States when this is what you were like as an 18 year old. I don’t give a damn what your policies are, what your stances on the important issues are. I don’t care if you’re brilliant, if you can fix the economy the first week you’re in office, if you can bring sweeping social changes with the snap of your fingers that turns America into a happy utopia full of racial harmony. If you were this big of a toolbag fuckboy I can’t trust you in office, sorry.

Those tweets from the Princeton roommate he would meet a few months later are all starting to make sense now.

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Seriously Trump, forget the Mexicans and the Muslims. 18 Year Old Ted Cruzes are who we need to deport the hell out of here.


Was Googling some of the other candidates at age 18 when BAM!

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