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Edward Snowden Says Thanks For All The Nudes Ladies But He's Not Interested

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I’m not sure what the general consensus is on Edward Snowden and I get that to some people he did things as a NSA whistleblower that were very important for privacy and whatever. But to me I’ve always seen a guy who’s a massive nerd who saw his one chance at seizing the brass bring of having people pay attention to him and is now cherishing every moment of his “living in exile” as some heroic figure to the other cybergeek types. And I think no tweet better sums it up than that. Not only does he want the world to know that he’s getting all these saucy Christmas presents from girls who are probably big on Bernie Sanders and short on regular razor usage, but he also wants them to know that while he’s flattered, he’s too busy being an International Man Of Intrigue who also #HasAGirl that I’m sure is the luckiest version of Rooney Mara in Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.


Since we’re on the topic and I’m not sure when I’ll ever have a reason to talk about Edward Snowden again, he also casually compared himself to Martin Luther King today, very timely and not at all overstating his value to the world:


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Also I know he’s a whistleblower and all that and theoretically would support the veil of anonymity and freedom from censorship that comes with the secret Internet that is Tor (here’s what it is if you’re not familiar). But you can’t have a face like this supporting a service that’s also the number one way kiddie porn is transmitted across the Internet:


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That headshot looks like it’s from a boy band that was founded at a NAMBLA convention. Probably not putting across the best branding there for a thing a lot of people don’t even know exists.