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Miltons Pimp My Wedding

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Miltons is going to hook up entire weddings, up to 8 groomsmen, with all the gear they need. Send in your email to and we’ll have stoolies vote for the winners. We’re loading up for the next wedding to pimp so send in your candidates now. Our next winner will be selected February 5th.


Reader Email

Hey guys,

Thanks for taking the time for reading and posting this. This submission is for my older brother, Harry, to be in consideration for Miltons/Bar Stool Sports’ Pimp My Wedding. Harry’s wedding will be in early May and we’re looking at 6-7 groomsmen. My pitch for Harry is below.

Thanks again,

Good Afternoon Stoolies,

Here to pitch my Irish twin to all the Stoolies for some wedding pimpage. Appreciate your 10/10 votes in advance. Let’s get the ball rolling by spinning off some facts:

1. As a 6’4, 240 pound former D1 football player, Harry has saved my ass in bar fights more times than I’d like to admit. Note: he usually starts them.

2. I’m his best man meaning that I’m on the hook when Airbnb sues me for inevitably burning the pad I’m renting for his bachelor party to the ground. Going to be more broke then 50 Cent and you better believe that I’m getting his Groomsmen to help pay for damages. Miltons- please clothe us.

3. Harry is about to be promoted to Captain in the Air Force. He’s a real fucking patriot and reigning officer of the year at his base.

4. My parents got some shocking news over Christmas: they’re going to be grandparents! That’s right, Harry knocked up his lovely fiancé and shit is live. Needless to say, the wedding will be “expedited” (aka held in May). You better believe that the kid will be a football superstar, boy or girl.
But real talk- Harry is the dopest older brother and friend on the planet. He’s a ride or die, loyal to a fault, and loves his family as much as I love Oxford commas. We’re on a bit of a shoe string budget for this wedding and I’m trying to ensure it will be something he and his fiancé are proud of and excited to show their kid. Making Harry and his fellow Stoolie groomsmen dapper as hell is a great place to start.

Thanks again guys and appreciate the support.


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The Boys

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1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (74 votes, average: 9.23 out of 10)