4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Antonio Cromartie Having Twins After Getting A Vasectomy

NYDN – It looks like Antonio Cromartie’s defense is slipping off the field, too. The Jets cornerback’s wife says that despite his vasectomy, she is pregnant with twins, which now gives the fertile football player enough children to field a little team of his own — and a kicker. “I didn’t even tell Antonio right away because I didn’t think it was possible,” Terricka Cromartie told Us Weekly. “I was going back and forth in my head how it could even happen. In my head we were good to go, we were having free sex! I just really thought that his procedure was the best protection you could have at this point.” Cromartie, who already has 10 children with several different women, including Terricka, was blindsided. “Originally, he was like, ‘Oh, s—! Are you serious? How did this happen?’ ” Terricka recalled. “It was shocking news for the both of us. It took me awhile to process it, but Antonio stood firm and was saying, ‘It’s God’s will.’ And he’s been excited the whole time.”  According to WebMD, a vasectomy is an 99.85% effective birth control method. Only one to two women out of 1,000 will have an unplanned pregnancy in the first year after their partner has had a vasectomy, the site said.

My style is impetuous! My penis is impregnable. I’m just ferocious! I want to have more children! Praise be to Allah!

Antonio Cromartie is a world class Stickman. No other way to say it. His seed is supernatural. He genuinely, truly has that Supersperm. Antonio Cromartie’s dick is like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Life, uh, Finds A Way.

Screen Shot 2016-01-13 at 8.54.53 AM

 

Strict medical and scientific precautions were taken to make sure this would not happen. For all intents and purposes, this was considered physically impossible. The tubes were snipped. That cum was not supposed to get there. Cromartie was not supposed to be able to have another kid, and hes having TWO. Thats just Cro’s dick running up the score. Like “Vasectomy huh? You wanna get nuts!? Lets get nuts! You’re fucking getting 2!”

At this point you gotta think that Cro is an actual alien. From another planet, and his cock is powered by the Yellow Sun. More powerful than a steaming locomotive.

Or, his wife cheated on him. One or the other! It’s either aliens and dinosaurs or his wife banged a dude with a fully functioning dick. I’ll let you decide.