A Hearty Congratulations To The New World Record Holder For Using Farts To Blow Out Lit Candles

Laughing Squid – Gerard Jessie of the Philippines has set a new RecordSetter world record when he successfully extinguished five lit candles using only his farts.

Wow, nothing like seeing someone set their mind to something, train their heart out, and follow through until they accomplish their goals. And make no mistake, this is a man in tremendous colonic shape deserving of all the attention and riches that will come with being the RecordSetter world record holder for putting out candles with farts. The apex of rectal achievement I’m sure.

But I have to be honest…much like you (I presume), I clicked to see this video thinking I was seeing a more traditional Greco-Roman cake fart style without the aid of some giant metal ass bazooka. Maybe I’m old fashioned but when I think of the greats in the annals of candle farting, I think of people doing it without the assistance of technology, the only support needed coming in the form of once-in-a-lifetime sphincter control, some spicy Filipino food, and a person with very little self-respect holding the candles. Sometimes the game just passes you by I guess.

PS Everything continues coming up Pres: