Danny Amendola's Neighbors Are No Longer Angry About His Carport, Now They're Angry About All The Women Driving Around Trying To Find Him

(Herald) — The oh-so-snooty College Hill neighbors, who complained about Patriots receiver Danny Amendola’s carport, now complaining that there are carloads of ladies cruising Danny’s Providence digs (and their neighborhood) — ladies who learned Amendola’s address as a result of the neighbors’ bellyaching.

Man, what a tough life Danny Amendola leads. First, his neighbors get on him about his new (and admittedly ugly) carport, now he’s gotta deal with chicks driving around the neighborhood and trying to fuck him? Jesus, cut the guy some slack, would ya? It’s the playoffs. He’s got a lot on his mind. Yes, the irony (maybe not the right word because I refuse to learn the real use) that the neighbors outed Amendola’s address and now have to suffer the consequences is quite delicious. But can we think about all the hardships Danny is going through? Every day there are carloads of girls searching out his penis. Horrible, horrible luck for the poor guy. Any time you think it might be cool to be a rich celebrity, remember this moment and thank the lord you don’t have to endure the hardship of sneaking around your neighborhood and dodge panties being thrown at you from smokes.