The Eliminator: 90s-00s Pop Stars

So we have another round of The Eliminator today, this time with pop stars from the 1990s and 2000s. All four of these ladies deserve a statue for helping us get through puberty.  But unfortunately one of them has to go.  That is the rule of The Elminator.  You must pick which girl (while in her prime) you would eliminate from the world as if they never happened.  My personal breakdown:

Britney Spears

Seeing Britney in Hit Me Baby One More Time was like seeing HDTV for the first time.  Complete game changer.  Throw in her 2000 and 2001 VMA performances and you have someone that flat-out cannot get a vote to be eliminated.  Both of those are “remember where you were when you saw them” moments.  Choosing between “Britney looking like she was almost naked” vs. “Making every person alive wishing they were that snake” is a competition in itself.

So yeah, Britney is NOT getting my vote to b eliminated.

Mariah Carey

Mariah is the oldest on this list, which may be held against her by some of the people that didn’t live through her peak years.  But as someone that did, she is safe in my book.  Mariah wasn’t quite thick, but she had some meat on her bones which was nice.  Plus she had BY FAR the most talent.  If you didn’t dream of hearing those pipes in the bedroom, you weren’t a sad, desperate teenager in the 90s.  And like a Stoolie tweeted, without Mariah there is no All I Want For Christmas Is You, which is basically the same thing as no Christmas.

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson at her absolute zenith (the Daisy Duke-era in my mind) was hotter than all three of the others  Then she broke Nick Lachey’s heart and lost her fastball pretty quickly.  But still, her prime was 99 Pedro.  And then you add in that John Mayer called her “sexual napalm” and you are dealing with a force that we have never seen before and may never see again.

By the way, Simpson is listed a 5’3″, which always confused me.  Didn’t she always seem like a tall chick?  I always figured she was 5’10” or so, which as a fan of tall girls, always sealed her the number 1 spot on my personal Top 5.  Nope, 5’3″.  Same with Kim Kardashian.  I always thought she was tall when Ray J made her a household name.  Nope, not even close.  It’s like the Reverse Russell Westbrook, who seems 6’7″ instead of his listed 6’3″.

Christina Aguilera

Which takes us to Xtina.  I am sure plenty of people would not eliminate her simply because of the Dirrty video, which probably led to millions of happy tissues.  But for me, the other three are just a tier above her.  But as always, this is a question for the people.  So make your choice by voting below.