We've Got To Buy Brady's T-Shirt And Underwear From Ted 2 At Auction, Right?

I mean this is the very definition of a no brainer here. I have a medical need for Tom Brady’s underpants and tshirt.  I could walk into the docotor right now and he’d take one look at me then write a script for that pair of boxers and that t-shirt. Anyone who’s been to med school would know that’s the only way to cure the sickness that’s overcome me.

And I’m not talking about wanting these things as some bullshit collector’s item. I don’t want them framed and hung in my bedroom. People like that are the worst. You buy a product? Use it. The Jordans collectors who never put their feet in them, the Star Wars toys collectors who leave them in the box, the baseball card people who don’t even open a pack… all those people suck. If I’m buying something, I’m using it. I’m wearing Tom Brady’s boxers every goddamn day and rubbing my junk all over his junk. I’d try them on in the mirror, look at myself and feel all sexy. (You know how you do that with your girlfriends underwear as like a half joke? Yeah, you know what I mean. Right? You do. You totally do. Unless you don’t, in which case I’ve never done it either) That’s what I’d do with Tom Brady’s underwear. Wear it and just feel close to him at all times. I need these. I must have them. CHERNINNNNNNN, I’VE GOT AN EXPENSE REQUESTTTTTT!