Top 5 Rob Ford Moments Of All Time

So this is the big news story today (Toronto Sun). I guess there is video now up for sale of Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford smoking out of a crack pipe. Umm ok? Is that bad? Should he not have done that? Guy likes to party. Big deal. Being a Mayor is tough work, fuck I’m pretty sure Pres is about to have a nervous breakdown and he isn’t even the Mayor yet. He’s been running for 5 days and he’s had 1 billion Emergency press conferences. If you think he’s not going to eventually smoke crack with a bunch of guy’s from the hood then you clearly don’t understand the stresses associated with being a Mayor.

Anyway, because Rob Ford is literally a reincarnate of Tom Callahan, Big Tom Callahan’s kid, I thought we’d do a quick top 5 of Rob Ford moments.

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5. Rob Ford is fat, fat people are funny.

Such a cocky fat guy’s pose. The lean back belly nap

But wait. Don’t you dare call him a fat fuck to his face, otherwise he’ll get angry.

No better way to disprove someone calling you a fat Fuck than the good old belly bump.

Sidenote – Yellow blazer is an all time squid. Settle down tattle tale, let the fat fuck fight his own battles.

4. Rob Ford tries to play Football, and honestly, he nails it. Perfect 5 step drop. Footwork, flawless. Field Vision, A+. If I was Cutty I’d be a little nervous that Trestman doesn’t tap into his CFL connections and get Rob Ford a tryout at Bear’s Camp.

3. Rob Ford gets weighed, promptly breaks his ankle stepping off a 6 inch high scale

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Back sweat for days.

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2. The above video is from Rob Ford’s challenge to the people of Toronto to lose weight. He himself promised to “Cut The Waist” and get in shape. So how’d he do? Well a week into the challenge he gets caught going into a KFC and getting the biggest bucket of Fried Chicken on the menu.

“Hey aren’t you supposed to be losing weight”?

“Well… you know”

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1. Rob Ford vs Camera, winner, Camera.

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So let me just say this. I hope to god this crack scandal doesn’t get Rob Ford fired, fuck Toronto, who cares if their Mayor is incompetent, take one for the team, Rob Ford is comedic gold for the rest of the world, to deny us that is just being selfish.