The Oregon Militia Terrorists Are Running Out Of Snacks - Daily Mail

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First rule of Domestic Terrorism is bring snacks. Everyone knows that. How do you even get to join a militia without knowing that? Day one they give you a rifle and tell you to make sure you snack properly in the event you try to seize a plot of wildlife land from the government. Bring orange slices. Cookies and Juice. Grab a go-gurt. Whatever you gotta do. Because nothing will derail your attempt at over throwing government tyranny via ranch wildlife reserve hostage situations like getting hungry. Like the Snickers “Why Wait?” commercials. Even the most badass militia members turn soft when they’re grouchy and have an empty stomach.

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Former KKK member wants to celebrate MLK Day, son attacks his mom with a machete over board game dispute, chick gets out of a DUI because she has Auto Brewery Syndrome, and New York City McDonalds are like the most dangerous places on earth