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My Rankings For Who Should Be The Next Head Coach Of The New York Football Giants

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Now that it has started to settle in that Tom Coughlin will not be the Giants coach next season, I have whipped up my rankings for the top 5 coaches I’d like see Big Blue pursue to pursue.  And yes, I realize most of these coaches have big names and resumes.  But the Giants job is by farrrrr the best one out there right now, and the best one open in a while.  The Giants have great owners, a clutch franchise QB, a GM that all the fans hate right now (so the coach won’t take too much of the blame off the bat), and you get to coach a team in the unofficial capital of the universe.  Onto the list.

5. All The Candidates We Have Heard About The Last Few Weeks

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Both Ben McAdoo and Steve Spagnuolo have been linked to the job, and just like many Giants fans, I don’t want either to move into the head coach spot.  McAdoo just seems a bit green for the position still.  I also don’t want to lose him to another team because Eli seems to really like him and the system, and what Eli wants Eli gets.  So keeping him on as Offensive Coordinator (if no other teams hire him as head coach) would be the best case scenario in my eyes.

As for Spags, I will forever love him for being a part of Super Bowl XLII.  But his career has fallen off a cliff since the Rams hired him as head coach.  The thought of making him the head coach of the Giants after the season Big Blue’s defense just had is as ridiculous as it is unlikely.  Oh yeah, and this isn’t doing either guy any favors.

As for the other candidates like Teryl Austin, Doug Marrone, Mike Smith, I have to ask one question.  Are they better than Tom Coughlin?  Because regardless of what the team will say, Coughlin was fired.  I know this may seem like a crazy idea, but I think it is a good rule of thumb to try to hire a better head coach than the one you just fired.  And I don’t think any of those guys approach General Coughlin.

 

4. Hue Jackson

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Almost everything you hear about Hue Jackson is positive.  He can put together a great gameplan, his players like him, and he led the Raiders to a .500 record during his one season as head coach..  Jackson strikes me as one of the coordinator candidates that is closer to a safe thing based soley on his reputation.  Then again, I’m just a dumb blogger with absolutely zero experience coaching.  But I do know that I would love yelling “HUE!!!” like the infamous Ocho Cinco video after he was concussed to Mars.

However, Hue is an offensive guy and could present problems if the Giants wanted to keep McAdoo.  I doubt it would be a deal breaker, but something to ponder nonetheless.

3. Nick Saban

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Now that Little Nicky Saban won his fifth(!!!) National Championship, people think he may be ready to head back to the pros.  Whether he wants to go from an immortal in Alabama to a mere common man coach in the NFL like Moonlight Graham at the end of Field of Dreams is one question.  Obviously he will want to get P-A-I-D, but I don’t see the Giants being shy of opening up the vault to ensure they have a great coach for the rest of Eli’s career.

Obviously it concerns me that Saban bombed in Miami before vanishing like a fart in the wind.  But you have to imagine that he wants to get that massive blemish off of his coaching resume.  Because NFL people will always add a “yeah, but” when discussing potentially the greatest college football coach ever.  However, the Dolphins have been a dumpster fire for so long now, maybe all Saban needs is an ownership group that doesn’t have its head up its ass to become the coach we all thought he could be in Miami.

 

2. Pick A Harbaugh, Any Harbaugh

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Yup, give me any of the Harbaughs.  I know Jim is probably at Michigan for a bare minimum of two more seasons or until he wins a National Championship and I don’t see Baltimore letting John leave because all he does is win when his team isn’t ravaged by injuries.  But what about old Jack Harbaugh?  If Jim and John are great coaches, think about how good Jack would be at the NFL level.  His coaching ability isn’t watered down by being half Mrs. Harbaugh.  He is pure Harbaugh, uncut to the gut.  You can’t tell me that there isn’t a small part of him watching his sons coach their asses off and think he could do it better.  And you know he would lock up wins every time he coached against Jim or John.  Dad Strength definitely translates to coaching like it does everything else in life.

Tom Crean is also technically a pseudo Harbaugh by marriage, since he married Jim and John’s sister Joani.  Do I WANT Tom Crean to coach the Giants?  No.  But having some sort of connection to the Harbaughs is probably better than hiring one of those unknown coordinators.

Then again…

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Yeah, maybe Joani is the play when it comes to hiring a Harbaugh if Jack says no.

 

1. Bill Cowher

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I feel like Cowher-to-the-Giants rumors have been around since Cowher left the Steelers back in 2006.  The whispers would bubble up whenever the Giants struggled before the first and second Super Bowl champonships under Coughlin.  So much so, that it is the top result when I search for Bill Cowher.  And yes, way too many thirsty people are Googling Cowher’s daughters.

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Cowher’s resume includes only three seasons (out of 15) under .500 and a 1-1 record in Super Bowls despite having QBs like Neil O’Donnell, Mike Tomczak and Kordell Stewart leading the way.  Plus that Cowher scowl would be a great replacement for the Angry Coughlin Face and a perfect complement for the Eli Manning Face.

Now a lot of people point to the fact that Cowher has been out of the league for almost 10 years and would have to readjust to the coaching grind and how to handle today’s players.  And it is definitely a fair point.  But I think I would rather have a coach that has done it before than one in the game that is an unknown as the leader of a team.  Dick Vermeil came back after 15 years to win a Super Bowl, and he was crying like a goddamn baby the entire time.  There are only so many times a man can fake laugh at jokes by Shannon Sharpe and Dan Marino before his mind starts to wander and imagine a better work life.  I would love to see Cowher grind it out for Big Blue in what would be his last coaching stint in the NFL.  #ScowlForCowher may not rhyme perfectly, but it’s a better option than watching Doug Marrone parade up and down the sidelines in New York.

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Hail Mary. Bill Belichick

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Bill Belichick is the one that got away from the Giants and the Giants are the one that got away from Bill Belichick.  Belichick should have been the one to replace Bill Parcells back in 1991, but he and Giants GM George Young apparently didn’t see eye-to-eye.  Fresh off of stopping the vaunted Bills offense in Super Bowl XXV with a defensive gameplan that went to Canton, Belichick was obviously a red-hot name.  But instead the Giants hired Ray Handley and tje franchise entered a pseudo football purgatory for most of the next 15 years.

So now is the time to right this wrong.  Does Belichick have basically the perfect relationship with his owner?  Sure.  Is he residing over a dynasty that is almost impossible to replicate given the rules in the NFL.  No doubt.  Can you make a case that he is the best coach ever and his QB is the best quarterback ever?  Definitely.  But if you watch the way he talks about the Giants franchise, you can FEEL the love he has for Big Blue.  In fact, I bet deep down in his heart, Belichick is happy he lost those two Super Bowls to the Giants.  He knows they are the best franchise on the planet and as a fan, I appreciate the love Bill.

 

So again, yes I know about Belichick’s love for the Patriots, from top to bottom.  But I have also heard stories of men that left their family to go with the one that got away years ago.  Come back where you belong, Bill.  Come home.