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It's So Damn Cold That Frost Is Devouring The INSIDE Of Cars...No, Wait, It's Just My Shitty Saab

Oh what one must go through to move your car out of the school parking lot before dawn when it gets towed to the the 8th level of hell: West Philly. Riddle me this, science nerds. How, in the name of Zeus’ BUTTHOLE, does this happen in real life? Like I’m pretty sure people who owned Model-T’s didn’t have to deal with this sort of cold happy crap. Is it too much to ask to not get irrationally angry before sunrise because your car turned into a goddamn igloo? And, yes, it is my fault for still rocking a 2003 Saab that should’ve been shot after the steering wheel completely fell off while on the interstate…for the second time. That’s what happens when you’re former pasta salesman/poker mush turned health insurance-less blogger. You ride and die with what you got to the grave. But still, really Saab? Those motherfucking Swedes should only be allowed to export chocolate and blondes.