"The Winter Classic Sucked Donkey Dick" And A Few Other Bruins Thoughts



After their woeful Winter Classic no-show on New Year’s Day, the Bruins got the “Again!” treatment from Claude in their last two practices. And deservedly so.

Save for Tuukka Rask and Matt Beleskey, the Bs were ghosts on the ice which, in turn, made for a shitty, bored crowd and the lowest WC ratings ever (or, conversely, the eighth highest-rated regular season game on NBC). It’s bad enough when you have to schlep into North Station in the dead of winter for a passenger-heavy game. But traipsing down to Foxboro after spending almost a nickel on two tickets just to see your team skate like they spent the night before on Gronk’s party bus was pretty goddamn disappointing. Add in the fact it’s the league’s (non-playoff) marquee event vs. your biggest rival in sports’ biggest rivalry and it felt near-insulting.

As for the venue? Gillette has all the charm of razor burn. The food sucks. The lighthouse is half-assed. And how did Kraft not put escalators in the fucking place? The decrepit GIANTS Stadium from the friggin’ ’70s had escalators. I’m not gonna sit here and sing the usual praises and platitudes about “tradition” and how successful the event was (and it was the usual money-printer despite shit ratings). From a dues-paying Bruins fan perspective, the Winter Classic sucked. End of story.

Now having said all that, it was just one regular season game (in which half of their top six and one of their best D-men wasn’t in the line-up). It’s not the end of the world. All teams have games like this during the season, though they’re usually Monday night games with the Coyotes in town. Yeah, it sucked that the Bs squandered yet another chance to move into first place (if only until Florida took it back). But they’re still in the thick of things and, most importantly, control their own fate.

Currently in the 8th spot, the Bruins have 44 points in 37 games played and at least two games in hand on the three divisional foes ahead of them (FLA 50 pts 39 GP; MON 47 pts 40 GP; DET 47 pts 40 GP). They just need to forget the New Year’s Day schma-schmortion and get back to playing the brand of hockey that vaulted them up the standings in December. And if there’s one thing they’ve gotten good at under Claude is having a proper response to laying an egg. But it doesn’t get any easier as the Wales-leading Capitals visit tonight.

A few more buds for you 2016 bowl…

*Speaking of…seriously Massachusetts, how many fucking years has it been since the constituents voted for dispensaries? How much more red-tape and bullshit bureaucracy are you going to throw at people looking for medicine? Way to piss away all that tax money, to boot. Fucking idiots.

*The Bs biggest challenge is going to be impossible—replacing David Krejci. He’s probably the most-underappreciated athlete in the city and his loss will be noticed. But here’s hoping that Ryan Spooner can do this year what he did last year when he essentially saved his Bruins career by producing in Krejci’s stead and showing he was indeed an NHL-caliber player. We don’t need him to be perfect, just to do what he did last year.

*Of course, having David Pastrnak on his wing would go a huge way toward making that happen, as the two showed incredible chemistry on the same line last season. Pasta got back to Boston from the World Juniors yesterday and quickly was sent to Providence. He suffered a finger injury overseas but it isn’t believed to be a long-term issue. He hasn’t faced NHL competition since Halloween so perhaps the Bruins want him to get a little more pro seasoning before he rejoins his teammates. But they need him back sooner rather than later. And Claude better not fuck around and keep them separated. (Corsi isn’t an end-all, be-all).

*The team will be getting some much-needed size back soon as Joonas Kemppainen is close to returning. After a slow start, the big Finn was starting to look comfortable before being injured. If nothing else, he’ll make the bottom-six much tougher to play against than they are right now.

*If Alex Khokhlachev if going to make pre-season proclamations about being with the parent club, I’d like to at least see him do something to make you notice him other than sport a number Harry Sinden would never allow. Yeah, I know a legit 8-10 game call-up would give us a better idea of what we have than sporadic games. But cream typically rises to the top (think Brad Marchand starting off as a 4th liner with Shawn Thornton and Greg Campbell). And if he wants to stick longer, he needs to make a better chance of the opportunity, however small.

*The C-130 flyover was the most entertaining part of the Winter Classic. But for about a half a second there, I thought I was gonna get a little too up close and personal with Cyrus the Virus (and this is where some dork points out that “technically, they weren’t the same plane”).

*Congrats to Jarome Iginla on goal #600. Would’ve been nice to have it here but Peter Chiarelli had to ink the 2011 Cup blood brothers with fat stacks hoping to repeat the magic of that run and ended up cutting himself off at the knees. Say la vee.