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2015: A Disastrous And Depressing Philly Sports Year In Review


Let’s say goodbye to that year of shit together:

Embiid= Shit or star?

This one is tough because to this day we still do not know if Joel Embiid is any good or if he will turn out to be the biggest bust in Philly since the great Andrew Bynum. However, 2015 was rough for the 3rd overall draft pick, as he was first seen rehabbing during the year, then dunking and healthy, and then re-breaking his foot, and then we had the #shirleytemplegate which lead many to believe he will never be good. As always, this is bad luck on top or worse luck, because if it wasn’t for Embiid getting hurt in the first place we would have Andrew Wiggins and have a pretty badass big three in Noel, Okafor, and Wiggins. However, we don’t have that and if/when Embiid gets healthy we will have a massive decision on our hands.

Goodbye Chase Utley

Once again, this is something we saw coming for a very long time but it still stung once it happened. Utley was our boy, the face of the ASPCA, and the face of the Philly “hard working” attitude that the city embodies. He was one of the final Phillies of that glorious 08’ team. Still, he went off to LA to play for the Dodgers and ended up still giving us a black eye after that slide that snapped a Mets player’s leg in half.

Marcus Mariota- The dream that never was

If you all remember correctly, it was right about New Years when the hammer came down and Chip took full control of the team. From there on, Philadelphia and the greater area was obsessed with one name “Marcus Mariota”. Sports talk talked about it for months on end, starting it out as a joke but as April’s draft approached, it stopped being a joke. Each day there was a new scenario and everyone heard something different. Then finally the first pin dropped and Bradford was on the team and everyone thought he was a pawn (I still to this day think Bradford was not brought in to be our QB, but simply as a trading and bargaining tool for Kelly). Draft day made everything worse, the Eagles were right there. So close to grabbing their franchise QB, their possible savior of this whole mess, Kelly’s possible savior. After offering three years of draft picks and basically the whole defense, it was almost a no brainer slam-dunk for Tennessee, however it didn’t happen. A draft was ruined for many fans including myself and just 9 months later Chip Kelly is packing up his things and leaving town. Oh, what could have been?

Hextall Dominates

The flyers were incredibly average in 2015 and will remain that way it seems as we enter 2016. However, Ron Hextall is a god damn maniac. After years of the Flyers making very stupid moves, Hextall had himself a summer in which Flyers fans would remember for a very long time. Now only if you could somehow get rid of Vinny Lecavalier and that big gross contract.

The Phillies sucked and Ryne Sandburg is a giant pussy

If Ryne Sandburg doesn’t go down as one of the worst things to happen to Philly sports in the past 10 years, then I don’t want to live here anymore. The guy was absolutely atrocious when it came to being a manager and then just got up and quit halfway through the year as if he was shocked that the team he was coaching was going to suck. You signed up for that, bud, now tough it out. However, if you had to sit in that dugout and watch that sorry-ass team play every night, you would want to quit too. Every game it was something with the team; sometimes they would get a star pitching performance and then wouldn’t score a run. Other times they would get 5-6 runs but a random pitcher would give up 80. If you remember anything from this season it should Bob McClure waving the white towel to try and get the bullpen’s attention during an abysmal 19-3 loss in Baltimore. Oh… and Ruben Amaro was finally shown the door.

Sixers start 2015-2016 drastically bad/ Hinkie gets tossed to the side

I don’t know about any of you guys, but I think the Sixers sucking is one of my favorite things. Its impressive and I like impressive things. So when they started out 0-18 and became the laughing stock of the NBA I was downright proud of their accomplishment. However, the NBA and the front office was less then pleased and finally had enough, Forcing Hinkie to the side for Jerry Colangelo, who now will “help” will basketball operations over there from Phoenix. The goal is to obviously continue to suck this season to get the first pick and cash in the rest of our first round picks, but knowing our luck we will get the 4th overall pick somehow and all the other picks will get pushed back to next year.

Cole Hamels throws no hitter against Cubs, gets traded a week later

Possibly the lone bright spot of the Phillies season and arguably the lone bright spot of the whole year for this city in sports was when Cole Hamels dazzled the crowd in Chicago. He looked like old Cole, the Cole that lead us to the World Series and single handedly dominated during the postseason. Walking off the mound before the strike 3 was called, outfielders making insane catches. It was fun. As always, the fun ended just a week later when Cole was traded to Texas for a boatload of actually not horrible picks.

Chip Kelly Explodes the Roster…kill’s his coaching-self in the process

Chip Kelly’s time as the Eagles head coach can be summed up in one metaphor: Do you know when you play Call of Duty and you’re using frags and you pull the pin and then you wait… and wait… and before you know it you forget to throw it and you blow yourself up. That was Chip Kelly in his three years with the Eagles. After getting full control in a power struggle with the weasel Howie Roseman, Chip went out and got all of his players. However, in the process of doing so, he also decided to get rid of a bunch of good players. I’m sure you guys have heard all this by now. But lets never forget that night in Green Bay, when everything clicked and everyone thought that this was not only going to work but that they were going to win it all. However, just 6 weeks later it exploded. Demarco’s chatting on a plane to Lurie, Chip refuses to ever go under center or change play calling, The defense turning into metaphorical Swiss cheese. You all know that by now. Lets just not forget how much fun those weeks of preseason was. So much promise, so much hope.