Things To Stop Caring About Because It's A New Year
So, New Years resolutions are bullshit and the people who are all about the “new year new me” thing are the worst. I’ve never willingly made a New Years resolution; and by that I mean when I was in elementary school I’m sure we were forced to make one. Mine was probably something like “I will learn to hold my pencil correctly” and I can tell you I didn’t commit to it because I still hold my pen the “wrong way” (I actually also think the right and wrong way to hold a writing utensil is also bullshit but that’s besides the point). Anyways, its a new year and I’m the same shitty, pessimistic, sarcastic person I was last year and the year before that. But, I saw this article about 20 things we should stop caring about in 2016 and I thought I’d give it a read since I like not caring about things. It makes life easier, so finding more things to not care about sounded good. Turns out I already didn’t care about all these things and I will continue to not care about them.
1. Having plans on a Friday night.
I rarely have plans on any given night. People don’t invite me and my roommates places because we’re obnoxious and we’re assholes. I realized that a long time ago. I also realized I love sleeping, not moving, not getting ready, and not putting on jeans. So, not having plans is something I stopped caring about a couple years ago.
2. The sexual connotations of Netflix and chill.
I don’t get this one. I don’t know how or why anyone would care about this… if you already know what they’re implying when someone says “Netflix and chill” then say yes or no? If you don’t want to sleep with the other person then just say no and watch Netflix with your body pillow.
3. “Putting yourself out there.”
Nope. Absolutely not. Do you know how much energy it takes to go out and meet new people? Too much. Another reason why I have like ten friends (and because I’m not a very likeable person). You have to get dressed, look nice, smell nice, plaster a smile on your face and pretend like you want to be there/that you’re having a great time. It’s just a lot. Unless you have literally zero friends I don’t see why anyone would really care about this.
4. Watching every new TV show and listening to every hit song.
I’m veryyyy bad at this and I don’t know why. I feel like this should be something I’m good at. I’m always late to the party on every new show, movie or songs. I always start watching after everyone’s talking about it. I actually think this is something I should start caring more about in 2016 (this isn’t a resolution because I know I won’t, I’m just recognizing the fact that I should).
5. Doing trendy workouts you don’t enjoy.
Once I tried hot yoga, it was THE WORST. I have almost no balance and zero sense of gravity so yoga is very hard for me as it is. Add 90 degree heat and a bunch of sweat, it gets a lot harder. I also can’t take yoga seriously when the instructor tells me to put all my energy into my left big toe. Sorry lad, I can’t because all my energy is going into not laughing at you, that ridiculous request and how seriously you take this. After that I stick to the basics aka running, squats and abs.
6. Making plans you have no interest in to catch up with people out of obligation.
Stopped caring about this a long time ago too. Mainly with all the people I went to high school with. If I see you out at a bar I’ll do the whole “whats up? how have you been? what are you doing now? etc” thing but I will make zero effort to see anyone unless I literally run into them.
7. The perfect winged eyeliner.
No guy will know what this means but I’m actually very good at it. So, go me.
8. Twitter trolls.
I never actually had this problem until this year. For a little while I was irritated then I realized it was a waste of time to care about the losers from my town and people who don’t know me just trying to get a rise out of me.
9. Getting tons of likes on Instagram.
Everyyyyyone (girls) cares about this. I’m not even going to pretend like I don’t. Since the start of Instagram its been like hardwired into our brains. Girls think that how many Instagram likes you get is directly correlated to how well liked you are as a person (whether they admit it or not). Obviously it’s completely untrue but deep down all girls think it.
10. Whether or not Hillary Clinton is “likeable” enough.
I don’t know how to do politics. I don’t pretend like I do and I don’t pretend to know what I’m talking about. I like watching Donald Trump be an asshole and I think a woman president would we cool. That’s as far as my extent of knowledge goes.
11. Making a big deal out of Valentine’s Day.
I stand by this 100% always have always will.
12. Wearing cute workout clothing.
I wear cute workout clothing to class with zero intention of working out. Just to give off the illusion that I’m fit and active.
13. Wearing 3-inch heels every day.
Lol. I rarely even wear heels when I go out. Guys like them because they make girls butts/legs look nice. You know what guys don’t like? Hearing me complain about how my feet hurt, how my feet are bleeding, and how I can’t walk anymore.
14. Finishing every book you start even when you aren’t into it.
I don’t read. I used to read but college ruined it for me.
15. Having the “perfect” body.
College also ruined this for me. My butt and thighs got bigger and SOMEHOW no matter how much I ate or how much weight I gained my chest stayed the same size. So, I came to terms with it awhile go that its physically impossible.
16. Fake “pasta” made out of vegetables.
My roommates to do this, spaghetti squash is actually pretty good. Don’t knock it ’till you try it. It’s a lot of effort to make it so I don’t like it enough to actually make it but if its there, I’ll eat it I don’t discriminate between pastas.
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17. Selfie shaming.
I’m a selfie queen. Always have been and always will be. I never cared about how many I posted even when everyone started following those unwritten Instagram rules. Selfies are great and everyone who says otherwise can shut up.
18. How your life compares to the lives of your former classmates/friends/siblings.
Yeah, I couldn’t even pretend like I care about this for a second. I’m not that competitive. There are plenty of people that will do worse than me and plenty of people who will be way more successful than me. If you have to be better than everyone and need to make your life look way better you’re a certified asshole.
19. Avoiding adding cheese in your salad.
Cheese is a main component to a salad. Fact.
20. People who don’t give a sh*t about you.
This is something else I’ve learned about myself in 2015, if you don’t care about me then I’m insanely attracted to you.It’s irritating as hell but I guess that’s just who I am. Like they say you always want what you cant have. If I know myself I’ll continue to do this and I’ll continue to hate myself for it.