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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Just Got Arrested For The 30th Time For Stealing A Vehicle Cause He's Addicted To Trains?

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Daily Mail- Darius McCollum’s addiction isn’t for booze and pills — it’s for buses and trains. The New York transit impostor, who first commandeered a train at age 15, has been arrested 30 times over the years for transit-related crimes.  Most recently, he was nabbed in November behind the wheel of a Greyhound bus that officials say he had stolen from a depot in New Jersey. Now McCollum, who is 50 and has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, is worried what will happen to him next.  He says the obsession that’s put him behind bars for half his adult life is out of his control. But instead of more jail time, he says, he needs help. ‘I can’t seem to get myself out of this on my own,’ he said in an interview with The Associated Press at Rikers Island jail. ‘But what am I supposed to do? There’s no AA for buses or trains.’ His lawyer, Sally Butler added: ‘If he were a drug user, there’d be substance abuse treatment. If he were violent, there’d be an anger-management class. Even if he had been accused of a sex crime, there would be therapy available for him. ‘We applied for everything, sought help everywhere, but there’s just nothing. This isn’t how he should be treated. He shouldn’t be behind bars.’



That quote in bold is the funniest thing I’ve seen in 2016 and maybe ever. The dude has a point though. There is no AA for a guy like him.  We have all of these classes and counselors for drug addicts and drunks but where does a guy go when he’s addicted to stealing transit vehicles?  Sometimes the world just ain’t fair.  30 times! 30 times he’s hopped behind a bus or a train or a subway that wasn’t his and drove it away.  That’s a legit addiction.  Somebody get this dude some help. Buy him a driving simulator or something.  And if you’re into get-rich-quick schemes then this article should be putting dollar signs in your eyes. Start an AA-type business for super specialized addictions. That’s the move.  Sure you could start with this guy who can’t stop won’t stop stealing planes, trains and automobiles.  But take it even further than that. Start up counseling for people who are addicted to fucking door knobs. Or people who are addicted to sniffing coffee beans. Or people who are addicted to shoving Christmas trees up their ass. Cast a wide net. Anything and everything. There’s no telling what you can convince people they’re addicted to. You just gotta give them a nudge then let ‘em know there’s a place to get help for that.  Then watch the money pile up.