Sixers Bring Back Elton Brand! We're Going Places, Baby!

CBSSports – Elton Brand will likely sign with the Philadelphia 76ers on Monday, Shams Charania of Yahoo! Sports reports. After announcing his retirement in August it appears that Brand is set to sign on with his former team. The 36-year-old played for the 76ers for four season from 2008-12. Last season he appeared in 36 games for the Atlanta Hawks, averaging 2.7 points, 2.8 rebounds, 0.7 blocks, 0.6 assists, and 0.5 steals in 14 minutes per game. The first-overall pick in the 1999 NBA Draft never lived up to the hype, mostly due to the vast history of injuries throughout his 16-year career. The 76ers will likely bring him on for bench depth and also to serve in mentorship role for Philly’s young big men such as Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel, among others.

Things are finally looking up in this town! Who wouldn’t want the catalyst of a 36-year-old with all of his barely working limbs to jump start your 3-33 ballclub. And here I thought this taste of piss was washed out of my mouth years ago. If you remember, the Sixers signed Elton to arguably one of the worst contracts ever given to a Philadelphia sports figure (Brand wasn’t awful by any means, but he definitely wasn’t worth the billions). No Brand is back and ready to do battle with one of the worst teams in NBA history. Golden years well spent.

Obviously this is a Jerry Colango move for mentoring. These younger guys need guidance, so I guess Elton Brand is elderly, experienced, and went to Duke like Okafor, so why not? Can’t really hurt anyone but his literally old bag of bones. Maybe we’ll get to that magical mark of double digit wins this season, after all. CUE THIS BITCH UP!