This Girl's Donald Trump-Themed Tinder Bio Is A Fitting End To 2015

Chris Spags12/28/2015 5:00 PM

As we near the end of another year, it’s important to look back and think about the things that really define what we just lived through. And there’s no denying Donald Trump was one of the biggest stories of the year. But, whether you agree with him or not, Donald Trump also summed up another big theme of 2015 in how divided we all were as a nation. Protests, disharmony, nobody’s happy. So for 2016, I say let’s look toward this girl’s vagina. If it can be welcoming and warm to every guy with an accented name or a car horn that plays La Cucaracha then maybe we can too. Within that girl’s crotch lies the messy cumin-scented hope for a better tomorrow I say.

And hey it’s our last Tinder roundup of 2015! Technically our benevolent Pres has given us off for the holidays but based on the amount of DMs I got, you guys are as busy on Tinder as ever so I’m here for you. And as a bonus, if you’re unlucky enough to be at work this week, you can also go listen to me talk with JJ on the Yuppie Junk podcast. The giving spirit of Christmas! Anyway keep sending me your screenshots on Twitter and let’s close this year out right.

This one got sent in a bunch this week and even though it’s definitely funny I don’t want to reward doing this, ESPECIALLY if you’re a girl. Here’s how you get a guy’s attention on Tinder: Have a vagina. Boom saved you $300 on a Powerpoint license (via Jeff M)

Now guys on the other hand actually have to do more to stand out. That said: A warm and hearty fuck you to this guy (via CMC)

If you can exchange Always Sunny references with a chick that effortlessly, it has to go a long way (via BR)

Support our troops (via LR)

This kid nailed it (via Indy)

When you can’t even get a competent bot to message you it might be time to take a Tinder break (via SOL)

Bold stances by 60-pound stickladies (via DG)

In keeping with the theme of Intern Dana lookalikes, I submit this girl with 80% of the face with a big time boob bonus (via Jockamole)

I would do all sorts of awful and shameful things to match with Trishelle from Real World on Tinder, are you fucking kidding me??? (via ML)

The face of a woman who means what she says in her bio (via JL)

My alma mater is more attractive than yours (via JC)

And on the other hand we have UCLA (via DAL)

Every thing about this is hot and it fits my little 2016 intro, win win (via SW)

Pretzel store life comes at you fast (via ZH)

Much like the two truths/one lie bio, I’m a big fan of ones with a solid name-based joke (via TS)

There is never a time where that bio said ironically by a white person isn’t hilarious to me (via ZS)

I can’t imagine every wearing that shirt but dammit if I don’t respect it (via CR)

You have to respect an open mind (via KM)

The best porn stars are the ones whose primary job is a laundromat (via DJ Khaled’s Lion)

Is there a factory somewhere that’s just churning chicks like this out? There’s more and more every week. And can that be the first factory we all agree would be better served moving to Mexico? (via JSIV)

Impossible to Roll Tide harder than this chick (via C)

Okay Bumble, you’re winning me over (via SLC)

This one is apparently from Jswipe and I’m as intrigued as with Bumble but moreso in a Maury episode way (via DE)

Coincidentally that is the exact face a girl would make when giving an OTPHJ (via N)

I’m posting this as a PSA to Boston Stoolies that this girl exists and you may somehow be able to convince her to make sweet love to you, what a country we live in (via Starlord)

The yellow lab would be so disappointed if she knew (via PMC)

At last the King of the Hill/Narcos mashup the world demanded (via LWL)

I have to admit I’m a big fan of every nickname that’s “the black” version of a famous person and wish it worked as well for white people (via BS)

That version of the wink emoji should officially be the new cuckold emoji (via E)

This week’s reminder a tranny takes better model shots than 90% of the girls you know (via KM)

This week’s reminder it’s not too late to titty fuck a tranny in 2015 (via L)

Sorry I know another trans girl but for some reason “No sexo” cracked me up (via A)

DJ Khaled would not support this key, no sir (via DH)

This girl’s requests are logical to me but I have to point out that shirt was not meant literally (via BK)

#BillsMafia’s playoff hopes are dead but they still play to win (via AF)

Even if it might be the worst thing ever I have to admit I’m pretty curious about this feminist orgy scene (via KL)

Your competition for the week definitely does not have a good enough body to pull this move off (via Heidi)

Apparently science nerds will appreciate this bio, I will just laugh uncomfortably and pretend I get the joke (via Delihands)

Super Queer was always the least requested super hero for children’s parties so the Gofundme makes sense (via JL)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

(via DM)

Funny bios with butts are cool (via Starlord)

18 year old butts are cooler though, no denying that (via Two Eyes Suck)

She probably stole that bio and if she’s the middle one that doesn’t matter (via AL)

I don’t care if this is fake because that photo angle is tremendous, this is how female DMV photos should be taken (via LWL)

Not gonna lie Bumble is making a pretty solid case for downloads this week (via DH)

What ranks higher in life than somehow hooking up with a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader? Miss America? A Taylor Swift tier of celebrity? That’s about it right? (via Smells)