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These Death Row Inmate Need To Do A Hell Of A Lot Better Job With Their Last Meal Decisions

dfried

This photographer has been going around the country taking pictures of the last meals that inmate on death row request. I give you my official ranking on them. Lets boogie.

dolive

This is the number one sign you are serial killer. I don’t know what it is but I don’t trust people who like olives. They just don’t taste good, they don’t look good, and there really is nothing good about them. This all makes too much sense that the guy who orders one single olive as his last meal is a serial killer.

dtoast

This is literally the exact look of what my grand mom makes for dinner for me at least twice a week and tries to pawn off as “human food”. Soup? Toast without butter? Beef? Juice to wash it all down? I’ll pass, but hey. It’s better than a single olive.

dice

I’m a big fan of ice cream; hell I’m even a big fan of mint chocolate chip ice cream, but as your last meal forever? Come on. Everyone knows what happens, you have all that sugar in the ice cream and about 15 minutes later you’re in the cabinet looking for something salty to balance it out. Can’t be in your death chair wanting something salty. You just can’t.

dlob

This one is just too typical. I just think if you’re going out on your last meal you have to pick steak or seafood and go balls to the wall with your decision. You cant don’t pussy-foot around with surf and turf. Just not the right time in your life for second guessing.

dsurf

Kudos to this guy. The lone guy on the list to demand he watches a movie while he grubs. Granted, going with the lord of the ring trilogy sounds boring enough to make me want to go get Euthanized, but hey… maybe that all was part of his plan.

dsteak

Fried Chicken, Steak, Kool Aid, Pecan pie. Yup, this guy was born in the south. This gets bumped up to number 5 because this guy understands how important having a drink is as part of your last meal. (Pecan pie is the most underrated pie out there.)

dchopped

Two words: grilled cheeses. I don’t care if they served shit to the left and puke to the right as long as that top plate had those two beautiful grilled cheeses on top, were groovy.

dfried

Ahhh this is some shit I can see my buddy big mike ordering. Chicken, veggies cause his mommy told him to, what looks like one of those McDonalds apple pies and the kicker, a big ole heaping glass of Dr. Pepper. I will pour a full two-liter of Dr. Pepper out at his funeral one day.

dsteakandeggs

See, I love this move. I don’t know what it but whenever I’m at the diner I get an omelet. Not because I love omelets but because they come with toast and toast when its served with warm butter and jelly and you don’t have to prepare is one of the best things in the world. Not to mention that the steak on that tray is the size of a small toddler and the two eggs will get things beautifully messy.

dshrimpfried

Respect. Look at that tray of KFC original recipe and those golden fries and tell me you didn’t contemplate what you would do for that to be right in front of you right now. Granted that guy there killed 33 people, but at least he had a belly full of love when he succumbed to the inevitable.

Brosh’s last meal of delight:

Jim’s Cheesesteak- Wiz wit

Chickie and Pete’s Crab Fries

Wawa everything pretzel

Redstone strawberry lemonade

@BarstoolBrosh