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Pepsi Is Planning To Launch Organic Gatorade In 2016. Wait, What?

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Business Insider-  PepsiCo is going to launch an organic Gatorade, as the company increasingly looks outside of the soda industry for growth.  Al Carey, the CEO of PepsiCo Americas Beverages, said that the company would debut an organic version of the sports drink next year.  “It’s a consumer interest,” Carey said at Beverage Digest’s Future Smarts conference on Monday. “I think they’re very interested in non-GMO and organic, and to the degree you can make it meaningful to the consumer — do it.”

 

Hey Gatorade, stay in your goddamn lane.  You were put on this Earth to hydrate athletes and hungover assholes like myself.  Not be some fancy, organic drink.  Now to be fair, I don’t really understand the whole “organic” thing still.  I barely understand gluten.  But I can’t imagine Gatorade’s flavor or hydration ability will be nearly as good if it’s organic.  Plus the colors will probably suck once it goes full hippie.  And  I swear to God, if kale ever ends up as a flavor or ingredient in Gatorade, I will march through Gainesville like Sherman did Atlanta during the Civil War.

For the record, here are my Gatorade flavor rankings:

1. Riptide Rush: Simply the GOAT.

2. Orange: An original flavor that I learned to appreciate over the year.  Can go well with a meal, which isn’t easy to do for an energy drink.

3. Lemon Ice: Was the perfect amount of lemon flavor.  I heard it’s back out in stores, but I have checked DOZENS of grocery stores, gas stations, etc. and still haven’t found it.  It is my white whale.

4. Citrus Cooler: Another classic flavor that was re-released.  I was able to track this down recently and it’s just as good as I remember.  MJ’s favorite flavor for a reason.

5. Lemon Lime:  Gotta respect the O.G. Gatorade.  And if you have any friends that call this “green Gatorade”, they are crazy.  It is yellow Gatorade or lemon lime.  That shit is NOT green.