4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Sometimes You Just Gotta Do A Line Of Coke Right There On The Table At Goody's And Then Fight A Cop

Screen Shot 2015-12-22 at 10.33.54 AM

ARL Now - A man was arrested early Sunday morning after allegedly doing lines of cocaine off of a table at Goody’s restaurant in Clarendon. The incident happened just before 3 a.m. Police say 26-year-old William Donovan of Vienna, Va. was sitting by himself at a table in the tiny pizzeria, snorting cocaine. A uniformed Arlington County police officer who was standing nearby witnessed the alleged drug use and went to arrest Donovan. At that point Donovan, who police say was highly intoxicated, defiantly said something to the effect of “I’m going home tonight,” and took a “fighting stance,” according to ACPD spokesman Dustin Sternbeck. Donovan began kicking and punching the officer, prompting a witness to jump in and help restrain him while additional officers sped to the scene, Sternbeck said. Donovan was charged with possession of cocaine, two counts of assault on a police officer, resisting arrest and obstruction of justice, according to Sternbeck, and is being held without bond. He “eventually apologized while being transported to jail,” Sternbeck noted.

—–

We all know this guy. Goes out for the night, gets way too drunk, loses his phone, and then ends up sitting in a pizza place by himself at 3am, blacked out, glazed over at a table. And this fella kicked it up a notch by just busting out the cocaine and doing it right there between bites. The real question though is what is his bigger mistake- doing the line of coke right there at the table, fighting the cop, or going to Goody’s instead of Bronx? I don’t want to poo-poo Goody’s because I’ve been known to go there when the trek across the street to Bronx is just too much to handle, but I guess what I’m saying is when you start with a bad decision, more bad decisions will follow. Nothing good happens before or after eating slices on that bench outside of Goody’s. That’s when you know your night was a bust.

At least he apologized to the cop though. I guess no matter how fucked up you are, when you’re being thrown into a cop car with blow stuck to the grease below your nose, everything comes back into focus. The “shit, those 14 tequila shots were a bad choice” feeling while you’re being arrested for fighting a cop in a pizza place can’t be a good one.