St. Patrick's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hoodies, Crewnecks, Hats, FlagsSHOP NOW

I'd Prefer To Die In An Earthquake Than Sleep On One Of These Anti-Earthquake Beds



Luckily I don’t have to worry about earthquakes in my neck of the woods but even if I did there’s not a fucking chance I’d buy one of these anti-earthquake death contraptions. Do I even know if these things are real or not?  I sure don’t but there’s no point in making them because nobody will buy them.  Ask anybody their top 3 biggest fears and almost everybody will undoubtedly say being buried alive is one of their biggest fears.  That’s what you’re buying when you buy an anti-earthquake bed. I have a panic attack just watching the Kill Bill buried-alive scene. Not to mention what if it’s just a loud crack of thunder and not an actual earthquake?  How does the bed know?  One loud boom and you’re sleeping in a coffin thanks to a false alarm. No thanks. I like how the main feature is a giant water and food supply stash. How long am I gonna be in there? I’d honestly rather die and have an entire building collapse on top of me than spend more than 45 seconds in one of those death trap beds. Hard pass.


PS- I don’t know what it is about that music but it is oddly mesmerizing.