Miltons is going to hook up entire weddings, up to 8 groomsmen, with all the gear they need. Send in your email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll have stoolies vote for the winners. We’re loading up for the next wedding to pimp so send in your candidates now. Our next winner will be selected February 5th.
My big bro (the one who looks like Big Cat 50 lbs ago) is getting married in June 2016. He is a massive stoolie and die hard Chicago sports fan. As if taking the plunge isn’t bad enough, he is marrying one of those jean short wearing, cheese headed hillbillies we call Packer fans. Mike is a man of many strengths, but like his cheddar loving fiance, dressing himself is certainly not one of them. I love my brother, but he has clothes like a dickhead. As his brother and best man I felt it was my duty do something about this. I can’t let my big bro look like some kind of savage on his wedding day. It’s not going to be easy, but maybe with Milton’s help (and the help of a treadmill) we can have him looking somewhat respectable on his big day.
In all seriousness, Mike has been very, very good to me over the years, taking me to countless games and picking up way too many bar tabs for my broke ass. I can’t think of a better way to show my appreciation than to save him a few bucks and have him looking good on his wedding day.
This Month’s Winner