Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Wants Jonathan Papelbon The Fuck Outta DC

When the senate majority leader (let’s all pretend to know what that means) calls you out by name and says you have to get off the team, you have to pack your bags and get off the team. The Nats probably shouldn’t even have to pay his salary either- once you’re called out by the senate majority leader (I’m now going to give this guy more power than he deserves because that’s what you can do in Blog Land) your life is over. It’s like when the president wants to drop bombs on some poor folks tiki huts over in the desert, he just loads up the drones and gets down to business. Same thing for the senate majority leader. He can vote people off baseball teams with the snap of a finger. It’s in the constitution and you can’t tell me otherwise. Papelbon=gone. Problem solved, all thanks to the new powers I just gave to the senate majority leader.