The Annual Wrigleyville T-Box Bar Crawl Police Blotter Rewind
To read the full blotter as well as other crime in the area click HERE, I left out a few so check out the full one. Italics their’s, bold mine. And for those unfamiliar with T-Box, think Santa Con in NYC but it’s all in the concentrated area of Wrigleyville. Starts early, goes late, 10’s of thousands of drunks dressed in ugly sweaters.
(CWB Chicago) 12:53PM — Need a female officer to assist with the woman who’s sleeping in the Uber car and refuses to get up. 600 block of W. Barry.
This is the peak T-Box. Notice the time. Not even 1 oclock and people are sleeping in ubers passed out drunk. Also I know this may sound unfair to Uber drivers but if you venture into T-Box you sort of have to expect puke, or a passed out chick refusing to get out of the car. That’s the deal. You get the 5X surge fee, drunk people get to treat your car like a motel bathroom.
1:39PM — “Ho! Ho! HOLY shit! I’m going to jail!” The first arrest of TBOX 2015 takes place outside of Red Ivy, 3519 N. Clark. Sergeant says it’s a battery case. And @the1stMikeC got it on video.
Agrawal allegedly put his hands inside the pants of 24-year-old woman who’d stepped outside of the bar Red Ivy near Clark and Addison to call her boyfriend and friends, who she got separated from.
Agrawal, of the 2300 block of West School Street, approached her and fondled the woman as she cried out and told him not to, prosecutors said. Cook County Judge Donald Bourgeois set bail for Agrawal at $100,000. The incident, which happened about 1:45 p.m., was captured on video of a police camera that was mounted nearby.
Jesus Christ man, be more of a scumbag piece of shit. Fuck this guy. 99.99% of people can go out and have fun and drink during the day with their friends without assaulting women, fuck this guy a million times over.
2:44PM — Dispatcher: “We got an intoxicated male driver getting into a tan auto. He’s dressed like Superman.” 3500 block of N. Lakewood.
“I’m Superman, I can totally drive drunk”
3:06PM — Dispatcher: “Drunk and disorderly Santas and elves on the street. Roscoe and Sheffield.”
See if you’re going to go to T-Box and be drunk in public this early in the day you have to stay inside T-Box. Once you see Redmond’s on Sheffield you’ve gone too far. That’s when you get the random unsuspecting family in Lakeview out for a Saturday stroll with their baby and dog and they will ALWAYS call the cops on a bunch of drunk elves.
5:24PM — Request for a unit to take a report in the 3500 block of Clark. No units are available. 20 minutes later, the request is canceled. “They gave up waiting and went back into the bar.”
“I’m so mad, I’m so mad, I want to talk to the cops, I’m so fucking mad”
*20 minutes go by*
“Hey I’m getting kind of sober, want to go grab a beer?”
5:45PM — Waveland and Clark for the 200 pound guy who wants to fight everybody.
200? Is that supposed to be intimidating or something? Lightweight. Also there is nothing worse than a bigger sized guy that can’t handle his booze. Come on man, let the little Napoleon dudes challenge people to fights, this is giving big guys everywhere a bad name.
5:48PM — Cue the tiny violin! Jordan’s dad just called 911. She got separated from her friend and now she’s hanging out with a man that the father doesn’t know! 900 block of Newport.
JORDAN NOOOOO! I loved this update simply because Jordan undoubtedly took one wrong turn off Clark and just assumed she was in the ghetto or something so she called her dad and starting crying her eyes. Jordan, you’re in between Boystown and Wrigleyville, worst thing that happens to you is you walk into Hydrate and get upset because none of the guys seem to be interested in you.
6:03PM — Cue the tinier violin! “An intoxicated subject” dials 911 to report that the police took away his TBOX bracelet at Clark and Addison.
6:09PM — Dispatcher says a drunk female caller sounds “incocksicated.” The “incocksicated” caller says the Cubby Bear won’t let her back in and she thinks she’s being discriminated against. Her friends take her home.
“Discriminated against”. What’s our bet this was one of many “My dad is a lawyer and will sue all of you” proclamations on Saturday. Might even have thrown in a “I went to college and have a entry level marketing job in the loop and you’re just a bouncer working minimum wage” to round it out nicely.
6:24PM — Man says that he and his friends are being threatened by a man with a knife at Kenmore and Grace. At least one of the “friends” is an off-duty cop. Arrest #2. Expected charge: Aggravated assault.
Gotta feel like the most powerful man in the world if you’re rolling with an off duty police office on T-Box. Like wearing an invisibility cloak or something.
6:26PM — In the 3400 block of Elaine Place, a man calls 911 to report that he has been drugged. “He’s standing outside crying hysterically.”
YES! Someone totally slipped something into my drink. It wasn’t the 20 fireball shots and 15 miller lites, I was drugged, I never get this drunk! I swear, I went to a Big Ten school and we drank all the time, all my bros say I’m the best at drinking!
6:38PM — Male white in a green Santa outfit just punched out a storefront window at Clark and Belmont.
*Didn’t get laid, punches storefront window to feel whole again*
8:17PM — Wellington and Pine Grove for the unconscious male white lying on the ground. He’s dressed like a Christmas tree.
Just this sentence made me laugh. There’s passing out on the ground in public then there’s passing out on the ground in public while dressed as a Christmas tree. Odds he shit himself as well? 50/50
Slugger’s at 9 pm on T-Box Saturday has to be the most dangerous place on earth right? I can’t think of a place that has more of a threat of violence.
1:00 AM — A 10-1 police emergency is declared at the Wrigleyville McDonald’s after three people attack the off-duty officer who’s working as security. One arrest.
A hungry drunk is the scariest type of drunk.