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Dangerous Criminal Apprehended Thanks To The Work Of The World's Best Police Sketch Artist

 

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Serious question, what do they need DNA for? In the video the newscasters made it a point to announce that there’s also DNA linking this man to the shooting. Ummm, what’s the point? To prove what we already know? Yeah, you got the guy. We can see it clear as day. Any prosecutor worth his salt would have him begging for a plea based on eye witness testimony alone.

 

 

The balls on this guy to hand this in though, huh? What exactly are the credentials to be the police sketch artist around there, you need to be within arms reach of a pencil? I mean he must have been shaking in his boots as he walked up to the chief to tell him he’d finished and say with a straight face, “This is the man we’re looking for.” Upset of the century that it actually went to press, too. It’s like when you didn’t study for a test, don’t know what the fuck you were doing but somehow still got a gentleman’s C on it. “Well, you did hand it in and I guess you tried…. OK, fine, you pass. Send it to all the local papers. We’re looking for a person with a black cloud over his head, fish eyes, a Voldemort nose, ears like Van Gogh, no mouth but two slits, and Peter Griffin’s chin. Get out there and find this guy, boys! He’s probably in cahoots with that Alabama leprechaun we’ve been looking for, for a decade.”