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This Girl May Have Figured Out The Reason Girls Always Joke About Butt Stuff On Tinder

EC

It’s been right there in front of my eyes all this time. I thought that girls were making corny “LOL butt stuff” jokes just to try to look edgy or cool or prove they can “hang like the boys.” But no, they’re actually being smart and going with the ol’ Catholic birth control to keep from getting fat. Brilliant in that way girls always are; smoking, doing coke, taking it in the butt, each a very healthy way one can stay skinny forever. Putting it in rhyme form makes it even better, a mnemonic device with way more function than kings playing chess or very educated mothers serving food items. Props all around to this girl and congrats on her neverending washboard abs.   (via EC)

 

 

And it’s another week of the Internet’s most award-winning Tinder blog. Make sure to go follow me on Twitter and send me your screenshots and since I’m on a new Macbook that is gold but has me fumbling with the smaller keyboard, let’s cut to the chase and get to the Tindering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

d

(via D)

 

 

MM-compromiseanddroptheHinstead

 

Keep the T and drop the H and you’ve got yourself a deal (via MM)

 

 

MG-pairwithMM

See? This chick gets it #tugsnothugs (via MG)

 

 

 

SL-fuckdadbio

I’ve covered how dead these “Fuck your dad” bios are after so many chicks used the line but this girl looks like she’d do it by force (via SL)

 

 

 

MH-1

MH-2

You can’t brag about your boobs and cover them up, especially if you’re being graded on a curve for that “Whites Only” water fountain treatment (via MH)

 

 

dck2

dick1

 

Your competition for the week just wants girls to know he has a huge dick, for their own good (via Pure Barre)

 

 

CD-nottechnicallyincorrect

She’s not technically incorrect (via CD)

 

 

 

 

DS-shockedthat21yearoldmarriagedidntgowell

I for one am shocked the 21 year old’s marriage isn’t going well (via DS)

 

 

 

ts-thisweekinwheredidthisgirlstealthisjokefrom

This week in “Where did this girl steal the joke from?” (via TS)

 

 

GM-youarenot100percentstraightifyoudressuplikeachickforhalloween

This is independent of the profile but any guy who dresses up like a chick for Halloween is at least 10% gay for real. With your sister, I don’t even know what you’re doing man (via GM)

 

 

GM

She doesn’t seem like my type of chick but “Save me your man tears” would kind of turn me on in a sexual context. As long as she’s not hairy (via GM)

 

 

 

 

t-sizzlersinnyclosingdownbumsmeoutwhenithinkaboutit

Sizzlers closing down everywhere bums me out when I think about it (via T)

 

 

PL-justhowilikemybasicwhitegirlsasian

Just how I like my basic white girls: Asian (via PL)

 

 

 

DS-normallyidsaysheslyingbutifshestheoneontheleftshehastobe

Normally I’d say she’s lying but if she’s the one on the left she has to be into butt stuff, like legally required not to waste that (via DS)

 

 

 

 

JD-goals

Better than having to rehearse A Streetcar Named Desire with her (via JD)

 

 

KP-notsureifcrazyorifthisishowamishpeopletalk

KP-2

I’m not sure if she’s just being wacky or if this is how all Amish people type when given access to a keyboard not made of wood (via KP)

 

 

BP-billsmafia

Seeing the Bills Mafia affiliated with the KCCO kinda bums me out but makes sense actually (via BP)

 

 

DG-alwaysnicewhenisharethingsincommonoffthebatwithgirls

It’s always nice when I share things in common with a girl right off the bat (via DG)

 

 

 

CT-thisweeksreminderyoudprobablyelopewithatranny

This week’s reminder you’d probably elope with a tranny (via CT)

 

 

I

Someone should unlock the player next to those two hot girls (via I)

 

 

 

WH-itwasshippedviafreight

Must have been shipped freight (via WH)

 

 

m-renaissancewoman

What a modern day renaissance woman (via M)

 

 

N1

N2

I’ve said it before on a KFC Radio but don’t write off dating a stripper, they’re people too. She’s even good at writing sentences! (via N)

 

 

 

c-shouldprobablybeabletospellsubstitutetobeasubstitute

You probably should have to be able to spell “substitute” to be a substitute (via C)

 

 

 

bgb-notsurewhyarugwouldbeontinderwhatadumbass

Not sure why a rug would even be on Tinder, what a dumbass this girl is (via BGB)

 

 

 

KW-Presinabeatleswigyeaornay

Pres in a Beatles wig, yea or nay? (via KW)

 

 

 

dubyah-butwhatabeautifulcarwreckitwillbe

Definitely an impending car wreck but what a beautiful car wreck it will be (via Dubyah)

 

 

 

caleb-1

caleb-2

Is there a correlation between front running teams across all sports and interracial relationships? Just throwing out free thesis ideas (via Caleb)

 

 

 

AP-makessenseifthatsanauthenticsombrero

That actually makes sense if that’s an authentic sombrero (via AP)

 

 

 

JG-wellhereyeslookthesamecolor

Well her eyes look the same color so I’m all in on that bad girl life (via JG)

 

 

 

CP

(via CP)

 

 

DW

I would definitely watch Girls if she were the star instead of Lena Dunham, they wouldn’t even have to change the plot (via DW)

 

 

 

beck-lolojonesontinderinbatonrouge

Apparently Lolo Jones is out there grinding (literally only grinding) out there on Tinder in Baton Rouge (via Beck)

 

 

 

SM

(via SM)

 

 

bjb-ofcoursetheroyallineofbubbaques

 

Ah of course a Princess would be born from the Royal bloodlines that work here:

 

 

Screen Shot 2015-12-11 at 1.16.05 PM

(via BJB)

RZ-idontmeantojudgethisgirlbyappearances

I don’t mean to judge this girl by appearances but she definitely seems like the type who might not be joking (via RZ)

 

 

 

BC-forthemanwhowantsthesamestrainofherpesassinatra

For the man who wants the same strains of venereal diseases as Sinatra (via BC)

 

 

RM-sucksyouhavetorunintoherpersonalityinthere

Sucks that you’ll have to run into her personality in there…also this girl was submitted more than any girl ever, legit 20 different guys this week. I’m not sure what to make of that data (via RM)

 

 

kaz

“Why are all these attributed to Jennifer Connelly scenes in Requiem for a Dream?” (via Kaz)

 

 

N-oddlyenoughmyreportcardhadthesame

Oddly enough my fifth grade report card said the same (via N)

 

 

 

JL-ambulancechasingontinderwouldbelowevenforalawyer

Ambulance chasing on Tinder would be low even for a lawyer (via JL)

 

 

JL-2nd

Wise words from a wise woman (via JL)

 

 

JL

(via JL)

 

 

jeff-soundslikeageorgiagirltome

Yeah that sounds like a Georgia girl to me (via Jeff)

 

 

NJ

Swipe right but then bring her to play a game of pickup vs Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes (via NJ)

 

 

KFC

 

 

(via KFC)

 

 

 

And onto the hot and NSFW ones…

 

 

MH-hotnsfw

Everything about this is just fantastic (via MH)

 

 

 

T-riskreward

Life is all about the risk vs reward (via T)

 

 

 

DCJ-38yearoldsputtingitallontheline

When you’re 38 and your eggs are melting you can’t waste time (via DCJ)

 

 

 

JC-hotnsfw

The caption made the picture 1000x hotter (via jC)

 

JC

(via JC)

 

 

TC

We should all date girls who take and send pics from this angle (via TC)

 

 

 

TD-reallygladtofeaturesomuchdementiaherethisweek

I’m really glad we can mix dementia and nudity so artfully this week (via TD)

 

 

BS-iusuallysupportbigtitsgettingapassbutcomeoncomfortable

I usually support a free pass for big tits but come on man, comfortable. COMFORTABLE (via BS)

 

 

 

And since Tinder got rid of Moments and there’s not as much NSFW stuff on there, moving forward I’m going to link to a thing that popped into my head as your new NSFW cherry on top. Nothing to do with Tinder but, you know, it’s Friday. Thanks for reading and sending things in, send me yours via DM on Twitter, and happy swiping!