Part II: The 15 Most Likely White Guy Jerseys To Get Stabbed At A Football Game Of All Time
As a reminder this was a subject the other day on the rundown after that Cowboys fan got stabbed in the leg at the Redskins game. I said it was surprising that he was wearing a Jason Witten jersey. That a Witten fan didn’t strike me as the type of guy who would get in a fight and end up getting stabbed. I meant that because Witten the player is a quiet businesslike guy. Seems like his fans would be the same. Naturally it became a race issue and we started talking about what white guys we would expect to get stabbed in a fight. So yesterday I did my list of active players. Well as promised here is Part II. My Top 15 off all time White Guy fight jerseys.
15. Tony Mandarich
Just the face of steroids. Huge muscles, rat tail haircut and he sucked. The only and I mean the only reason to be wearing a Mandarich jersey is because you were looking to fight.
14. Matt Millen
I debated whether I should put Millen on the list. He was a no brainer before he became a GM and an announcer. But in his playing days with the Raiders there was nobody dirtier or meaner.
13. Kyle Turley
I don’t know how many times Kyle Turley actually ripped a guy’s helmet off and threw it 10 yards down field but it feels like at least infinity times. That’s what I think about when I think of Kyle Turley. I think that’s what everybody thinks about. So if you see a guy in his jersey you got to assume that’s why he bought it. He’s looking to rip people’s heads off.
12. Jon Kitna
A couple reasons he’s on the list. First the black Bengals jersey is a fight club looking jersey to begin with. More importantly though Kitna has that pockmarked face that just screams I’ll stab you. He looks like a thug. That can’t help but rub off on the guys who would wear his jersey
11. Kevin Greene
Guy loves the idea of being a maniac. I’m not sure he’s actually a maniac but he wants people to think he is. Kevin Greene guys would be the types of dudes who are way more likely to get stabbed than do the stabbing . These guys are way more interested in wrestling and headlocks and surprised when somebody breaks out a shank. Almost like they expect to shake hands after the fight is over.
10. Jeff George
The exact opposite of Kevin Greene. A Jeff George guy will stab you directly in the jugular without changing expression and just walk away and act like nothing happened. Just sit back down and watch the rest of the game with the same exact expression they had when they murdered you.
9. Dominic Raiola
Guy has only been out of the league for 1 year and he already made the HOF list. That’s how dirty Dominic Raiola was. Wearing his jersey means you like mayhem, picking on band geeks and cheapshotting people.
8. Mike Allstot
I originally wasn’t going to include Allstot on this list but then a reader tweeted at me that no fan would be quicker to headbutt somebody than a guy wearing an Allstot jersey. Probably the truest statement in the history of Barstool Sports.
7. Chuck Cecil
If you wear a Chuck Cecil shirt that means you enjoy the art of paralyzing people. There is no confusing that message. Oh look that guy is wearing a Cecil jersey. He likes watching people die on the field. Quite simply the greatest head hunter in the history of the NFL
6. Mark Gastineau
Basically the originator of the sack dance. If you wear this jersey that means you’re flamboyant and probably likely to piss somebody off at a game and end up in a fight.
5. Jim McMahon
Jim McMahon has a screw loose. That’s just a fact. His fans probably do too.
4. Ryan Leaf
Not only was Ryan Leaf one of the greatest busts in the history of the NFL, but it’s generally accepted he was a bad dude. I don’t mean bad like tough. I mean bad like a jerk. There is no way to see somebody in a Ryan Leaf jersey and not assume they are an asshole.
3. Howie Long
Getting into the real nitty gritty now. This is another jersey that has lost some luster since he’s become a TV personality, but when he was on the Raiders this was a big time “I’m here to fuck shit up jersey” Somebody you just didn’t want to mess with on or off the field.
2. Jeremy Shockey
I don’t have scientific proof of this but I bet 101% of guys who wear Shockey jerseys to sporting events or concerts end up in major melees. They stab people, they get stabbed, etc. It doesn’t take long either. They start screaming “SHOCKEY! SHOCKEY!” the second they show up and next thing you know it’s a full scale brawl. Chicks, dudes, everybody. People screaming Worldstar and shit. That’s Shockey.
1.Bill Romanowski
It wasn’t even close for me on who to put #1 on this list. Unlike Shockey fans these aren’t full scale brawls type of guys. Romanowski is more likely to sit behind you, decide he doesn’t like you and just stab you in the back without warning and keep watching the game as you crumble to the ground and not even know what happened. He is the type of guy who would have stabbed that Witten fan at the Redskins game and nobody would know it was him. Just a guy who fights and stabs because he’s mean to the core. The guy who silently shows up to the office, doesn’t talk to anybody, sits alone at lunch and everybody is makes jokes behind his back how he has people in his freezer but he totally does.
PS – There are lots of old school jerseys like Butkus, Nitschke, Lambert etc that I thought about including on this list, but those guys are so old I feel like people don’t wear those to fight. They wear those to show respect to the game.
