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James Harrison's Son Is A Little Psychopath Who Wanted A Dead Barney Birthday Cake





I used to watch a ton of crime shows like Criminal Minds so I know about a little thing called the homicidal triad. It says that anyone who has at least two of the characteristics (bed wetting after five, arson, or kills small animals) then they’re probably a sociopath and will be prone to violence. Well, I think we just found a fourth thing to add: if your eight year old asks for a dead Barney cake then he’s probably a future murderer. This right here is the clearest case I’ve ever seen for pre-crime. You ask your kid what kind of cake he wants and he replies, “Dead, bloody Barney” then he goes directly to jail because he’s a psycho. Also, might want to extend that pre-crime to “any child of James Harrison” because that fits too.



Very well done cake, though. Looks delicious. Wonder if he’ll have this guy make his last meal after he goes on a murder spree.