Man Arrested With Crack in His Mouth, Weed In His Ass

Alligator - Gainesville Police arrested a local man early Thursday after they found a bag of weed in his butt and a bag of crack in his mouth. Officers smelled marijuana around the car, but McAllister told police the scent was left over from when he smoked earlier. He said he did not have any with him. When McAllister stepped out of the car, an officer could still smell something. He searched McAllister and found a bag of weed inside his butt, according to the report. The officer then noticed McAllister was hiding something in his mouth and asked him to take it out. McAllister then began to chew and tried to swallow the object, but spit it out after the officer forced it out, according to the report. Police identified it as a plastic bag with crack inside.

Very interesting decision making to store the weed in his ass but the crack in his mouth. You would think you would do it the opposite, as the crack is worth more than the weed. But I guess he did it correctly, because the cop pulled the bag of weed out of his ass before he found the crack that was in his mouth. Very, very interesting, albeit a very confusing story to end the week with. I’m befuddled. But then you just have to realize it’s Florida, and it becomes all that less confusing. It’s just like, oh, that all makes sense now.

PS: I’m now reading that there’s an old African proverb about not storing crack up your ass. So now I totally get it. Some sort of Aesop’s fables thing.