Congrats To Uber For Finally Inventing The Bus
uberHOP is a new service we’re piloting in Seattle beginning Thursday, December 10. It will be available along select routes during commuting hours. Here’s how it works:
Open the app and select uberHOP. Choose a route and request an uberHOP.
We’ll pair you up with a driver as well as other commuters traveling in the same direction. You’ll then get directions on where and when to catch your ride.
Using those directions, walk to your pickup location where a driver and your fellow commuters will meet you. You’ll need to be on time as your uberHOP driver will leave promptly.
At the end of your journey, you’ll be dropped off at a pre-destined stop so you can walk the last few blocks to work.
There’s some Silicon Valley innovation for you, you motherfuckers! I bet you thought that Uber was a pretty incredible app, didn’t you? Thought it was amazing how you could push a button on your phone and some guy would show up at your house to drive you wherever your heart desires and he probably wouldn’t even try to rape you that much? Well, that’s because you’re an idiot. Had you ever even considered how great it would be if you had to walk to a predetermined spot to get picked up, perhaps sprinting on occasion to be on-time because the Uber doesn’t wait, in order to ride with a bunch of other people before you get dropped off kinda near your actual destination? Bet you didn’t because you’re not half as brilliant as everyone at Uber. They know you better than you know yourself and knew you needed UberHOP. What? A bus? What’s a bus? No, it’s an UberHOP and it just changed the way we get from point A to B to C before finally arriving at D.