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Emily Ratajkowski Films Her Annual Video For Online Advent Calendar

Advent Calendars are hands down the worst fucking thing about Christmas. They never really caught on the way Christmas trees and wreaths and other holiday decorations because they stink. Calendars are old hat. Advent season is some weird religious shit with candles that reminds me of CCD. I am pretty much OUT on Advent Calendars.

Unless of course they are some sort of online Advent Calendar involving Emily Ratajkowskis gigantic tits bouncing in slow motion. Any advent calendar that involves this chick’s nipples and her grinding her hips in slow mo is A-OK with me. Every year she films this I’ll watch.

Its pretty well established at this point but this chick is pure fucking sex. There’s nothing about her that isnt sexual. Im pretty sure she wants to be taken seriously too, which is just never gonna happen. This chick could be the smartest, most intellectual chick and the greatest actress in the world and any time people see her pictures or watch her movies they’re thinking “I wanna fuck her, I wanna fuck her, I wanna fuck her, I wanna fuck her, I wanna fuck her, I wanna fuck her” and nothing else. Sometimes you just gotta accept who you are and run with it. Its like the kid who hits his growth spurt in school and doesnt want to play basketball. Like a 6 foot 5th grader who wants to play soccer. No dude, you were born to hoop. Take advantage.

Thats Emily Ratatjkowski. You were born to give boners. Even born to make chicks wet too. Just embrace it and run with it.

2014