Well we knew this was going to happen sooner or later. The ladies of America already want to break off a piece of the 7’3″ sex machine (I bet) that calls MSG home. The NBA works differently than the regular world. In The Association, first you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women. Actually, all three come when you are getting recruited for college. But still. Our 20-year-old adopted Latvian son is growing up right in front of our eyes. He has Carmella leaking for some Latvian white chocolate. And all things considered, a WWE Diva is a pretty decent girl to break you into American women. Semi-main stream appeal, hot, and tough. Plus maybe Carmella will show Porzingis some lifting techniques during their fling. And she also seems to have a Trish Stratus kind of vibe to her, which is one of the best compliments I can give a woman. Stratusfaction was incredible back in the day, getting a lot of Stoolies through puberty.
After Carmella, I imagine young Kristaps moves on to some sort of TV actress, followed by a pop star, and then finally to the Holy grail of Rihanna. When he was drafted, I thought his goal of getting with Bad Girl RiRi was unattainable. But anyone who has watched his rookie season knows that she is definitely within reach if he comes close to reaching his ceiling as a player. And if that happens, all bets are off. Street cred and confidence through the roof. The sky is the limit.
But the tricky part of all this is we need him to avoid all Kardashians and Jenners like the plague. That’s how dynasties die before they even begin.