Would You Pay $5,000 To Spear Someone You Hate In The Dick?

NHL: Preseason-Vancouver Canucks at Calgary Flames

Yesterday Vancouver Canucks forward Brandon Prust was fined $5,000 by the NHL for this spear to the dick of Brad Marchand on Saturday night.

Just a nice little “hey how ya doin” cup check by Prust who was obviously frustrated as the Canucks were down 4-0 late in the 3rd period. This isn’t the first time someone has been speared in the dick in the NHL. It certainly won’t be the last time either. But when asked by the media about the $5,000 fine, Brandon Prust turned full heel and told reporters that it was “the best money I ever spent”.

So a couple things here. 1) Brad Marchand is a little rat and an agitator and the way he plays the game is going to get him a few sticks to the dick here and there. He pisses off opposing teams and gets under their skin. If he’s getting speared in the nuts, it’s because he’s doing his job right and he’s asking for it. Now I’m a firm believer that you should never ever hit another man in the dick,you still can’t blame Brandon Prust here, can you? Especially because 2) giving someone a cup check in a hockey game isn’t really all that bad. Sure, it’s a dick move (pun kinda sorta intended) but there are so many more ways to get back at a player that could seriously injure them. Hitting someone in the dick is gonna hurt for a few minutes but it’s not like Marchand is going to miss any time from that hit as he might have if Prust decided to take a run at his head head. And if that truly was the best money that Brandon Prust has ever spent, well then spearing that rat Brad Marchand in the dick must has been the most relieving feeling ever.

So would you pay $5,000 to spear someone who you hate the most right in the cock? Could be anyone in the world and there are zero repercussions afterwards. Could be Kim Jong-un, could be Pres, could be whoever. For $5,000 you get to put Man Code aside for a second and let loose. If I had $5,000 to my name, I know I would.