Science Proves Double Dipping Is Fucking Gross

FB - In case you’ve wondered what really happens when double dipping, researchers at Clemson University put it to the test and found that quite a bit of bacteria really does get transferred. They compared salsa, chocolate and cheese dips, and found that there was no bacteria when left alone. After applying a bitten chip, they found different amounts of bacteria in the dips, according to their thickness. While the thickness in the chocolate sauce cheese dip reduced the amount of bacteria transferred, every ml of salsa contained at least 1,000 bacteria. In comparison, the chocolate and cheese dips only contained 150-200 bacteria per ml of dip. That means your salsa attracts up to five times more bacteria because of its lack of thickness. Thankfully, thousands of the oral bacteria are harmless, but it’s the same as sneeze or a cough–you still run the same risk of spreading something nasty. So next time you see someone trying to sneak in an extra dip at the party, you now know there could be thousands of bacteria chillin’ within.

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I’m not one to exaggerate, so I 100% mean it when I say if you double dip you should be executed on the spot. There is no reason for anyone to double dip, ever. It is without a doubt the biggest deal breaker in the world. If I saw Nina Agdal double dip I would turn down sex with her (because we’d be at this super cool party and I’d be like hey whats up Nina Agdal and then she’d be begging me for sex, ya know?). Double dipping means your parents failed, means your parent’s parents failed, it means your education system failed, it means you are fundamentally not fit to walk among us in society. And science has now backed up everything I just said. Turns out double dipping into salsa gives you cancer. I don’t even understand how someone can be so ignorant to proper dipping technique. And if you need more dip, just turn the chip around. It’s really that simple. In a world where eating ass is the new thing, I’d prefer you not to take a shit in my mouth.