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Cops Are On The Look Out For A Santa Claus On The Run After Stealing A Helicopter

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Reuters- Brazilian police are hunting for a Sao Paulo Santa Claus who kicked off the Christmas shopping season by stealing a helicopter. The thief rented the aircraft late Friday from an air taxi service at the Campo Marte airport in Sao Paulo for a Black Friday “surprise,” the Sao Paulo state security secretariat said on Saturday. During the flight, the Santa forced the pilot to fly to a small farm outside of Sao Paulo city, where they were met by a third person, the secretariat said. The pilot was tied up and the two perpetrators flew away. After several hours, the pilot managed to escape and alert police. There has been no sign of the helicopter, a Robinson model 44, authorities said.



Happy Holidays!  Thanksgiving is over, it’s December, Christmas music is playing in the streets (despite Feitelberg’s hatred of it), decorations are being put up all over town and Santa Clauses are up to no good like stealing a helicopter and disappearing into thin air.  Every year around this time we’re good for at least a couple crimes from Saint Nick.  It’s kind of the perfect thing to wear if you’re a criminal during the holiday season. I trust every Santa I see.  Every single one of them. Even after reading countless stories like this helicopter one or seeing the movie Bad Santa a thousand times. They Trojan Horse all of the fond memories people have with Christmas. The big belly and white beard lull people into a false sense of security and then before you know it, a helicopter is missing. Santa Claus is an A+ disguise if you’re trying to steal something.


This is gonna sound weird but do you ever wanna ruin the Santa Claus myth for a small child?  Like one of your little nephews or nieces or something? Just casually mention it to them as they’re gleefully rattling off their Xmas list like, “By the way, you know Santa isn’t real, right? He’s totally made up” and have their world crumble around them?  I randomly get that impulse every time Christmas rolls around.  It makes zero sense, too, because I love Christmas and I loved Santa and was legit devastated when I found out he wasn’t real. But for whatever reason I wanna ruin Santa Claus for a small child who still believes. Just once.  Just to get it out of my system. I haven’t done it yet but maybe this will be the year. My hesitance might stem from the likelihood of getting punched in the face when I do it, either by a parent or by the kid.


Not related but sorta related.  Here’s one of the best Santa Claus movie moments ever.



You wanna know if you have a cool family or not?  At your Christmas Eve gathering this year drop a, “You serious, Clark?” at some point during the festivities and see if anybody laughs.  If nobody laughs that means your family sucks.