4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE


Creepy Clowns Are Just Hanging Around At All Hours Of The Night In This Small Town

Hey crazy lady, your 15-year-old son dresses up as a creepy killer clown and stands on street corners at night for kicks all year round. Get your shit together. “I’d rather him do this than run the streets, get girls pregnant, do drugs like other teens are doing nowadays.” Newsflash, toots: This is 100000000x worse than spanking a little dank and ass. He’s not doing this for laughs. By his senior year there will be painted heads on pikes lined up throughout the town.