Viacom Founder Sumner Redstone Is A Goddamn American Hero Who Only Wants Steak And Sex Every Day

(Source) — Sumner Redstone, the aging media mogul who controls Viacom and CBS Corporation, is a “living ghost” who is practically unable to make decisions for himself, according to allegations leveled in legal filings. A court hearing is scheduled for Monday in an ongoing dispute over the 92-year-old billionaire’s care. Redstone is widely believed to be in poor health, but the details of his condition have been hotly disputed. Last month, Redstone made Viacom (VIA) CEO Philippe Dauman his “agent” by signing an “advance health care directive” document, thereby removing Redstone’s ex-girlfriend Manuela Herzer. In a lawsuit filed on Wednesday, Herzer said Redstone “lacked the mental capacity” to do so. She is seeking control over his health care decisions.

If the man still has the capacity to know he wants steak and sex then this is the stupidest hearing ever, because that’s exactly the barometer for knowing if a male is still competent. I don’t care if there are rumors that he’s a “living ghost” or if photos of him look like bad Weekend at Bernie’s photoshops, and I definitely don’t care if his signature literally looks like he died right in the middle of it..

If he’s still got the barest of masculine desires then he’s competent as fuck. It’s like when you hold up fingers for a concussion test. Is it perfect? No, but if you can guess how many fingers I’m holding up then I’m sure your brain is still intact enough to get back on the field. Well if you ask what a man wants and literally the only thing he can say is steak and sex then he’s still healthy enough to make decisions. His brain still knows how to solve basic problems with primal instincts.